Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Seconds Anyone?

Dinner party conversation on Saturday night spent a lot of time on the topic of "going back". Of course we were gossiping about other peoples lives, as you do, and as I have no life and live vicariously through others I was driving this conversation.

I don't understand when one is the dumpee in a relationship, and especially if the dumper has left for another person, or avatar, why one would want to go back to a relationship with that person. If it was me I would be living in fear that they were going to dump again if a seemingly better proposition came along.

When I was a company wife one of my neighbours finally kicked her husband out after she discovered his fifth affair, why did she let him stay for numbers 2 to 5?

With the most major dumping I have done in my life (the sperm donor after 15 years), even tho the option to go back was open for many months, there was no way I could. I knew that even if I ended the affair I was having, I would not be happy and would do it again.....the power of girl sex!

I just don't understand the mindset of "yes darling, I'll gladly have you back". How can you not live in fear, and constantly be on the look out for those tell tale signs. One dinner party guest said, squirmingly, that maybe the dumper only finally realised the depth of the relationship they had left when the heat of the affair fizzled. Then what does that say about the dumpee....doormat? Or someone who's ok with being seen as second best.

As I've said before I don't do this relationship thing lightly, I don't even do the second date. If you do get a second date and after 2 weeks I haven't done the "it's not you, it's me" speech then you're fairly sure I'm around for a while. Likewise, except for the one mentioned above, I also don't do affairs real or cyber when involved with another. If I felt that I was so attracted to another person that I wanted to get up close and personal, I would end the current affair. To not do so is saying "you're only second best" but I guess you'll do till something better comes along.

However, as I'm not involved with anyone, and not planning to be in the near future this is of course just conjecture. I am instead pondering a whole different dynamic of personal and sexual affairs.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

But what about having two very hot affairs simultaneously?

unPC lesbian said...

oh absolutely, preferably one of each gender, and even better if each knows of the other......but also only if you are not in a "committed" relationship with another.

B.S. said...

"I also don't do affairs real or cyber when involved with another." Yes but it's just a fuck, it's not like its real.

unPC lesbian said...

From the male perspective yes....or if you are Cactus yes.....Lesbians however, there is no such thing as "just a fuck".

Also on the cyber front history old and new has shown me that the same rule applies

B.S. said...

[Mock shock] So surely you are not saying that the idea that two women will screw each other like rabbits for simple recreation is just a male fantasy ? :-)

 
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