Empty Nest

The New Year Begins

2012-01-09T21:21:00.000+13:00

The New Year started with watching the fireworks over Sydney harbour. By climbing a handrail conveniently attached to a rock wall, then holding on to the wire fence on top of the wall, we got an unobstructed view of the show (and the home owners having a party with their guests!)

Why do we raise our hands in pleasure? After warm but dull weather it turned into a stunning calm night so the fireworks were mirrored on the water.

We were staying in Double Bay, pool at the bottom of the stairs followed by the sea. This was the standard view.

We also spent a bit of time at the house in Woollahra where our kind hosts office was located. A few doors up the road was this piece of mosaic sculpture in the front garden of a property.

Very cool. On New Years day we went to Manly beach with approximately 675893058376838 other people.

Still, we found a nice spot and played in the sun and surf all day. The final day we did a spot of kayaking before I jumped on the plane.

A lovely relaxed holiday was had, and I'm now busying myself making little memento treats for our hosts and their children.

Returning home also meant back to work, and returning to a piece of unsettling drama which involved a visit to the Police, but that is a whole other story. For now I just want to bask in the peace of my holiday.......while I work on planning for the next one.

One for the Boys

2011-12-14T18:19:00.000+13:00

Guess who this is? Her blog is on the list.

Status Update

2011-11-28T21:59:00.000+13:00

We're approaching the time of year when people tend to look back and reflect on the year that has been. I was having this conversation with the other half of Rockstar Productions last week, as like myself her life has changed massively in the last year. She calls it her year of detoxifying her life. Mine has been more a year of personal life change and jumping out of boxes.

Since August I have been living the empty nest life. I don't know why some people see this stage of the parenting cycle negatively, as I think it's wonderful and totally embrace the freedoms I now have. The child is doing well in Oz, and her making that move is what she needed to get her life started. She was stagnating here, now she has taken responsibility for her life and is working hard to succeed. Firstborn has finished her second year at University and is back in the Bay doing summer work. The only fly in the family ointment is that my Mother has had a couple of health issues this year, and we can no longer ignore the fact that we don't live forever. A sobering thought that was driven home on my visit last weekend.

The empty nest life means I now have a flatmate, so the rent and bill reduction means I also have new found financial freedom. This is where jumping out of boxes comes in. On one level I feel I "should" save all this extra loot, as I have been conditioned to be a good squirrel for later life, however I am fighting that impulse and instead spending on myself, and lots of travel adventures. After my holiday in America earlier this year, and also acknowledging the influence of the person in the next paragraph, I just want to spend the next few years seeing as much of the world as I can cram in, plus having more adventures here at home as well. I can see that skiing is going to feature large next winter. I stopped travelling a few years prior to breeding, so now it's time get the backpack out again. Well actually, will probably have to purchase a new one as the old one really is too cumbersome. Next stop Sydney, followed closely by Singapore, Malaysia and Borneo.

The other huge thing is my life this year is that I have a girlfriend, of the monogamous committed relationship kind. (being lesbians these things must be defined!) This too is major box jump for me, as after the deceit of the woman I dated last summer I had sworn never again. Single and celibate was the motto. After the last long term ended several years ago, as regular readers know, I decided monogamy wasn't working for me so spent three years dating many, committing to none. With the lover from last summer I started to feel that I now wanted more, until the lies and deceit happened. I then totally shut down.

Being in such a shut down state I was totally unaware of the German goddess's interest in me, until she kissed me on the dance floor one certain evening. So slowly, slowly we got to know each other. Again another jumping out of box experience, as I had to face and articulate fears, acknowledge and discuss them, and then finally let myself just take the chance and enjoy the love and warmth that was being given to me. I think of it as the most honest relationship I have had, and we both consciously strive for that. It makes me very happy. I must say though that unlike most lesbians we will NOT be moving in together. We both like our own homes, our together time and our separate time, so no u-haul for us.

One final change this year, besides going blonde, is that I voted. I guess that means I now have to change my profile on here. There has also been the usual running races, putting on events even though I swore never again, and the great car reregistration drama, just to name a few. Life most certainly is vastly different from what it was this time last year.

Dinner Date

2011-11-22T21:17:00.002+13:00

Firstborn has been staying and we went out to dinner with the Father last night. This was a very significant event as it's the first time we have had a "family" dinner in eleven years. It was a pleasant evening, and firstborn totally enjoyed the fine food, wine and flowing conversation.

We dined at Ambeli, an award winning restaurant where the German goddess and I had dined a few weeks earlier. As the evening unfolded the Father behaved as expected, with his default setting of pretentious prat. When we arrived he was having a wee boys moment with the maitre d', they were trying to out cool each other. Once seated the maitre d' then asked if it he could select the wines to match our food choices, to which the Father agreed. In the world of winemakers and sommeliers this is akin to throwing down the gauntlet. At this point I indicated that I wasn't drinking.

We ordered, and once the order was in the maitre d', Shae, as by this time we had heard his whole family history, brought the first round of wines. He did pour me a small taste to match my ordered dish. The meal then continued in this manner. A cheeseboard was brought out at one point, and the Father was poured yet another red wine. Finally the bill was presented.

Unlike the Father I was able to read the bill without resorting to spectacles. The number on it was staggering despite no charge being made for any wine tastes poured for me. As I have recently been ill, as well as not drinking I had only ordered two entrees and a small salad, a total investment of $45. Once the very generous voucher the Father held had been deducted there was still over $160 to pay, to which the Father said "let's just halve it." I started to protest, but realised it would be to no avail so I sucked it up and duly paid for twice what I had consumed. Firstborn was gobsmacked and sat there rolling her eyes.

When the Father returned from paying his share he then proceeded to moan that the winery would only cover $70 of what he had paid, obviously his feeding allowance when on the road. The miserable git was moaning because he'd just consumed three courses of food, four glasses of expensive wine, and was having to personally fork out $10 for it! Fortunately the waiter had cleared all glassware and cutlery from the table otherwise I wouldn't have been able to resist.

If a "family" dinner is ever to occur again you can guarantee that I will be firmly setting the parameters before even a sip of water is taken.

Tick Done

2011-11-08T18:23:00.000+13:00

To those that didn't attend, and you know who I'm talking about Ms Crazy Housewife and Ms life without ben, you missed a great night.

More regular transmission may resume shortly as I get around to finishing some of the drafts that are yelling at me.

All Better!

2011-10-17T21:06:00.000+13:00

Car and fingers that is. After emptying my bank account I now have my car back and looking prettier than ever.

I have promised the panel beater that I may paint her in the future, however I now think maybe just the bumper. I quite like the red bonnet with the blue badge. Interestingly all the males involved in the process agree that I have done the right thing in repairing her, and I now have a fully certified safe car that only has 83,000k on the clock. She had to be weighed as part of the process, and phew, she is also not overweight.

I've had another weekend on the snow and this time at Turoa. The universe turned on breathtakingly stunning day for us,

and even this little mishap didn't distract too much from the fabulous day.

This time I actually donned skis for the first time in over 25 years, and I'm hooked. The new format skis make it so easy, I just want to do more. This one is from the start of the day when I was trying to remember how it all went.

After the finger damage interlude I spent the rest of the day on the intermediate slope.

Next time I hope I will figure out what the poles are for.

The ball weekend is fast approaching, under two weeks now, so I'm starting to get a bit fretty about it, along with the fact that I may not be able to fit my costume. However, all you lesbians out there I hope you have your ticket, you won't want to miss the biggest party of the year.

See you all there.

Bad Blogger

2011-09-26T22:03:00.001+13:00

Yes, I now officially have the title of being THE worst blogger, but, but - life has been busy!
Firstly I've had the two insurance saga's to deal with.One good one bad. This is the start of the bad insurance story.

I won't go into the full story, but it seems an insurance company can make decisions, and do legal things about ownership and registration, without feeling the need inform car "owner" at any point. Unlike the travel insurance company (the good story) who very promptly paid out for the bracelet I unfortunately lost while in America.

To take my mind off the car drama I went here

for a bit of this

I'm heading up again this weekend but this time I will put the long trippy uppy things on the end of my feet so I can spend the day falling over, and pay a fortune do so! While on that trip I got up close and personal with this one.

And come January I'm going to climb the fukker. Will do the full crossing and nip up to the top along the way.

When I got back I managed to temporarily fix the car, you may recognise the piece of plastic.

It's now with the man with a big belly and tattoos getting road worthy again, though thanks to a vital piece of misinformation from the NZTA call centre, it is going to cost slightly more than $100 to re register and make legal again.

Along the way I have had one of these

And as I was truly pampered by my gorgeous girlfriend I created a bit of art for her during the day

I have also done another race, first in my age group, fourth in open women grade, committed to doing this race, and a triathalon in November, and - even though I swore never again, I am doing another lesbian event.

So you see, I'm not telling fibs when I say busy!

I will hopefully get my car back this week, which is good as that saga will finally be over, but sad as I've been driving Dolly the last two weeks. A good friend has loaned me her car while she is out of town and I really don't want to give her back, I'm sure you can see why.

So that is my life the last few weeks. Oh yeah, the child is still in Oz and still alive.

Juxtaposition

2011-08-16T20:24:00.000+12:00

Before

After

The End.

Empty Nest Week 1

2011-08-14T18:16:00.001+12:00

The first week of empty nest life is now complete. I have today finished cleaning the room ready for the temporary flatmate's arrival. I stopped counting the loads of laundry after the sixth one. So many towels and sheets have reappeared that the linen cupboard is bursting at the seams, will have to download.

I finally changed the toilet roll on Wednesday, and another today so that means two rolls in nine days, as opposed to one a day. I don't know what she did with it, she was either at school or work for much of the day, why did we go through so much? It is also pleasing to get in from work and find there is only the porridge bowl and tea cup on the bench, and they have not reproduced mysteriously while I was at work.

Along with physical changes to the living environment, the main change of course is life priorities. No longer do I have to work my arse off to support the "family" it's just all about me now. Freedom, yet strangely a concept that one can't totally instantly embrace and go wild as Mummy guilt still raises it's head. I am however working on it.

I have had many phone calls from the teenager over the week, which negates her goal from the start of the year which was "I want to get a job, move out and never talk to you again!" I won't mock though as she has done well to organise a flat, move there, and now has accepted the sensible job offer. She starts her first full working week next week, that may not be pleasant.

Dinner is ready, must go.

Time for a Change

2011-08-07T15:57:00.000+12:00

My life has changed so the old title no longer seems to fit. I am on my first weekend of Empty Nest. My life and priorities change from here and I will natter on about it bit more often here.

First fun, in true un-pc style having uber hot girl sex all over various pieces of lounge furniture, TMI, but you know you just gotta do it.

Another observation; I put a fresh toilet roll on yesterday and the same roll is still there today, HUGE change.

Pride Weekend

2011-07-14T22:10:00.000+12:00

I've done a full post on Pride weekend over here. Here is another picture from the night, and a bit of street art.

Yosemite

2011-07-12T22:18:00.001+12:00

Yes I know, I've been back a week and only now blogging, extreme tiredness and dead laptop are my excuses. I have now again uploaded all the photo's, this time to my external, and with the aid of a borrowed laptop can finally attempt to write.

I'm bypassing Pride weekend as I'm writing that one for Gaynz, if bloody buggery Wordpress ever decides to play nicely, so now it's Yosemite. We headed out there on the Monday after the mayhem and partying of Pride. NZAlien loaned us one of those GPS thingies to direct us. We started of by calling it Gertrude, but by day two she was referred to as "the yelling lady", and we figured out how to shut her up.

We drove from San Francisco to Mariposa that day with no great drama other than popping eyeballs in a mall car park. It had been quite cold in SF but an hour inland it was searingly hot, so when we stopped for food we also changed clothes, much to the amusement of those in the cars around us. We managed to get what was probably the last motel room in town and promptly jumped in the pool until the room was ready. Tuesday we were up early and off to Yosemite, a good move as the place ended up getting crowded. When we left in the afternoon we got stuck in a traffic jam trying to get out of the park and it took 1.5 hours to get out.

As we started to get closer to the park the scenery started to get spectacular and the river was like Huka Falls on steroids. Once in the park the first sight was the little tunnel to drive through.

Then the many spectacular sights started to appear. The photo's just don't do justice to immense size of the granite rock faces, they are breathtaking.

I totally lost track of how many waterfalls there are and how many we saw.

We of course had hopes of seeing bears, and NZAlien had seen some on her visit. Oso is one well travelled bear but doesn't look to keen at the prospect of meeting others.

We saw lots of these, both here and in other places on our journey.

You can imagine my glee at seeing a large group of these on the first trail, all in matching outfits.

We spent several hours walking up one of the trails and along the way got to see one face of the Dome. People climb this. They must be mad.

This of course is just a wee sample of our days hiking, a day of stunning scenery. We then drove 4 hours down a remote road to the coast again with a different type of vast scenery.

I was driving at this point, weird, very weird. We spent that night at a place called Pismo Beach which had it's own unique scenery, but that story is for another day as it's bed time for me now.

San Francisco Day Three

2011-06-21T13:12:00.002+12:00

It's been three busy and exciting days, and starting off with that deja vu feeling of having Saturday all over again was very cool as well.

I landed just after 10am on Saturday and got through customs quickly than out to the lovely NZAlien waiting to pick me up. We went home briefly for coffee then out to see a few sights. First up the classic icon of Golden Gate Bridge.

I can see why NZAlien says trying to run over the bridge is a pain, it was clogged with tourists.

We then went to the Embarcadero for a wee wander and a yummy lunch of seafood and bubbles plus a stroll through the market stalls where I did the little dance of pleasure at the size of the crabs. I was then taken to the equivalent of the Warehouse, a place called Costco. Sensory overload on so many levels, the amount of stock to purchase, and people watching. I did manage to make my first purchase, a bottle of Veuve Cliquot.

Sunday was a massive shopping mission to a large outlet mall in Gilroy, where I finally got off the starting block, and purchased vast amounts of running gear, and a few other items. We then went to Santa Cruz and had more seafood then a walk on the boardwalk amongst the masses. These are a couple of the locals I saw on the pier, one of them was laughing loudly.

This also amused.

And as it's summer I couldn't, to quote Lou Reed, watch football on tv, but baseball was on.

We went on the roller coaster, it was a wooden one which makes it even more special.

Today I have just been exploring the Mission, which is the area I am staying in. Firstly I went to NZAliens favourite sports store and stocked up on running shoes, then the rest of the day I have been wandering aimlessly just looking at life and drinking bad coffee. Had a kiwi moment when I saw Pohutukawa trees in bloom on one of the streets.

I do love being in a new country and all the new experiences that involves, however the public toilets are one I need to master. My Mother taught me to pee without sitting down in a public toilet, but the ones here tend to flush on their own accord, a bit alarming, and messy. Also crossing the road on an intersection with no lights, I feel a bit like one of those sideshow clowns with my head swiveling in every direction.

Tomorrow is another wander and explore day so will head for the Castro and get me a bit of gayness.....and hopefully a decent coffee!

Advanced Silence

2011-06-14T20:23:00.000+12:00

Yeah yeah, I know - I have been very lax at writing, but I still haven't found my writing mojo. I have however found my download mojo now that I have an external drive, so I have been catching up on lots of movies and the odd tv series. Lip Service is one I recommend everyone to watch, very cool, very hot.

I have also been back in full training mode, more so this last two weeks as I'm doing the "must lose some kilos before I go on holiday so I can eat it all back on again" programme. I've reached a pleasing level with my running and am now running 10k just as a warm up, and am sticking to moderate weights work outs. So, on that note, here's a wee pic for you Little Drummer Boy.

Only four more sleeps till San Francisco, so I promise I'll write more when there as NZalien has kindly said I can play on her iPad. Swoon. Au revoir.

Silence

2011-05-09T22:03:00.001+12:00

I don't know why I've been so silent of late, I just seem to have lost my writing my mojo, but regaining my cooking one. Even winding up the feminists over at The Stroppery is failing to amuse me, though, big HUGE ha ha ha - I see that blog has now been made "invite only." One assumes that since they now only want to talk amongst themselves, they just can't handle opinions that differ from theirs. No loss.

I had a very relaxing trip to Christchurch over Easter and to be honest I spent most of the time alseep. It seems the body just needed to stop, and visiting the boys was the best place to do it. It was very odd seeing the city, the way buildings just weren't there. Also driving through areas of damage and then coming across vast areas untouched. Christchurch has always been my happy sunny holiday city and that feeling was still there for me. I admire the resilience and fortitude of everyone, they are determined to save their city and I thank them for that. One photo only; it shows the effect of shake and liquefaction.

Work has settled down after the busyness of the first quarter, and I have now realised that next month is my two year anniversary. Where did that time go? I'm also quietly pondering the "where to from here" question. The debate of work life balance vs corporate ladder climbing in the pursuit of more revenue. Will let that one simmer over the next six months.

I've been running as usual, lifting weights and working on the press up obsession. I can now do four full extension ones at the start of each set. I got to use this new skill on Saturday, and no, I'm not going to elaborate further on that statement.

San Francisco is now under six weeks away, so in preparation for that one of my teeth has had a big chunk fall off! Whimper. Hopefully only a small quick patch up will fix it. I am starting to get excited about the trip now and making a few more plans. Nzalien is being a star with planning things to do and places to go. She has suggested going here, I may be lost for days. The final weekend is Pride which will mean much dancing and basking in gayness. Much, much fun to be had, especially as someone very special will be in town at the same time. The girls will go out and play.

So that is a brief catch up in the scintillating life of moi. Number one daughter is doing fine, and the child has got a full time job and starts in ten days. It's with another firm two blocks up the road. Hopefully that means she will achieve her aim of moving out and never talking to me again. Time will tell.

Just Ask

2011-04-18T20:29:00.001+12:00

I have recently joined youtube as I found that my favourite mashup producer has started uploading some of his mashups and remixes. I wanted him to upload my favourite tune so I asked, then two days later there it was. I of course am chuffed.

Press Ups

2011-04-13T19:55:00.000+12:00

I have become slightly obsessed with doing press ups of late. Work has been interfering with regular gym sessions and as I have been told they are a perfect all over body work out I am doing as many as I can. At the moment I am at this level,

I am aiming for this,

Children

2011-04-12T21:25:00.000+12:00

Well Partners really. On Friday I accidentally became a pawn in some power struggle game playing between some of the Partners, all over a shelf. I put an extra shelf, as requested, into a junior Partners office while he was out at a meeting. I also informed him that shelves were effectively a unit of currency, and as he had the economy of several European countries in his office plus half of Kairanga forest, it may be time to shred some paper instead. Said Partner also assured me he would deal with any possible repurcussions that may occur, as the shelf was above height restriction.

A couple of hours later I was called to his office. On my way there I had an amusing chatter in the lift with the librarian about a wind whistle in the library (his domain, his issue) so was smiling when I walked into the Partners office. He was not amused and let me have it, as he thought I was smiling and laughing at him. I then saw that the shelf was back on the floor. I explained that I had put the shelf up as asked, and also told of which Partners has questioned me while doing it. I had left that conversation sporting the universal "not my issue" symbol of thumb pressed to forehead.

Later that day I had to go to the same Partners office to swap his docking station and do geek things, and he apologised unbidden for being so rude in the morning. I accepted. On Monday when I was again in his office he apologised once more. I then did say I had felt like a pawn in some childish game, to which he gleefully said he'd play childish anytime.

I have now seen that yet another Partner has decided to play in this game as well and has gone around and put red stickers on any item that exceeds the height restriction. This includes lolly jars, trophys, pictures, water bottles, any item above the line. I love my job. Really I do.

Blank

2011-04-04T20:27:00.000+12:00

That is the status of my brain at the moment. I've not been blogging as I've been tired. I've had a world record mucous production cold, and just been generally tired with life so have been hibernating. This involves watching many foreign language movies and reading books, you know, those things printed on paper.

I am looking forward to Easter and going to Christchurch to see all the boys, I'm not looking forward to seeing Christchurch though. Once I'm back from that I know I will then start getting all squirmy about going to San Francisco. I fear I may not want to leave there.

As this dullest of dull blog post shows, the brain really just can't be bothered at the moment, so a couple of pictures instead. One because I like pie charts, and the other just to prove I can touch my toes.

Nom

2011-03-24T21:58:00.001+13:00

On my post run beer mission at the supermarket I spied the most perfect specimens of peacherines I have ever seen in my entire life, and I had double luck as the taste was sublime as well. Happy face.

I do like the phone camera pixilation. Yes, this is my life.

The Party

2011-03-22T22:15:00.000+13:00

The Party has been and gone, and the whole weekend was huge with much action and many storys to tell, but as I'm now in mopping up the tears role, a wee pictorial post will just have to do.

First up myself and the "dancers" at the hotel picking up Ms Hotrod.

The next one is the wonderful Ms Hotrod, swoon.

I think this one is an 'action' shot.

Lots more images can be seen here. I'm off to hide from the world for a while now.

Big Life

2011-03-16T21:36:00.001+13:00

Life is all a bit big and busy at the moment, tonight being my first evening of relative quietness for sometime. I am surrounded by corsets in various stages of alterations, but at least I am having some quality sofa time. So a summary of the last week.

Daughter
Is back at her flat and back at lectures. The pacemaker was put in on Thursday morning and she was discharged that evening. The process is considered minor surgery, she was only lightly sedated through the operation. She had a few days at home here, then was finally able to escape to her flat and friends on Sunday. She is getting very irritated with people ringing asking "how are you", so that has turned into a new Mummy sport. We have been very lucky.

Games
The Outgames kicked off last Friday, well people started arriving then. I had drinks after work with Lucky Escape (aka the Bitch Who Broke My Heart) watched a bit of dance sport practice, then home to ignore the Japan disaster. I just don't have the emotional energy to absorb any more awfulness.

Saturday was a blur of housework and time at the Square networking and handing out programmes. I then picked up my houseguest for the week and treated her to a special rehearsal with the girls at home. Sunday was my race and though I did a PB it was hard at the end. The leg started hurting after the the turn but I stuck to my plan of kicking out at the end. It worked well for my placing but the pain/vomit ratio was nasty and I almost hurled 10 metres from the line! However I got silver and here is the evidence along with a silly face.

I ended the day with a manic set up at the womens club which included perching on a very high ladder and screwing light fittings into the ceiling. The upside of that was the the hot mountaineer holding the light fittings in place, and using her cleavage to catch the falling screws from my distracted drilling. After all that I was so tired I turned down the offer of a steak at Crazy Horse, and as that is my favourite steak house, an indication of how exhausted I was.

Partys
I rallied on Monday and after work went to the show at the second night of the Velvet Club. An interesting night of people watching and again a reminder of just how small and interconnected this world is. Spent time chatting with a good pal of Nzaliens. Lucky Escape also turned up, but as this is my city I didn't let it bother me and just had fun with friends new and old, and a hat.

The party that I am managing is now only 48 hours away, hence being awash with corsets and fishnets. Ticket sales are huge and I now have another performer for the wee small hours as well as my lapdancer, so all is looking good. I'm still going to attempt the back to back which is; do my party and pack out at 3am, aiport run at 4am to drop dj, and go to the closing party on Saturday night!

Random Impulsive Actions

Plane tickets to San Francisco in June! This year has been huge and draining and I decided I needed to do something frivolous and all about me. For the last two years I've put off planned trips because of doing dull things like moving house, getting teeth fixed, and supporting children, so now it's time for a bit of self indulgence. The decision was aided by a new pal saying they were going to be there for Pride, and the thought of a big gay party was irresistable. I am so looking forward to it, and before you ask, I will at some point have to wear flowers in my hair.

So there you have a summary of the last week, and now it's back to my needle and thread.

A Brief Hello

2011-03-07T21:32:00.001+13:00

I am alive and I do have some funny storys to tell, lesbian committees always provide such juicy blog fodder, and oh my I have some classics to tell. However, as those of you on my facebook know, another unexpected life challenge has arisen in the last 48 hours.

My firstborn was admitted to hospital on Saturday night and is now in the cardiac ward as a heart issue has been discovered. Her heart rate is way too low and the chambers aren't beating correctly. There are many technical words for it, but basically it means we just sit and wait till the tests are done, then find if they are going to put in a pacemaker.

It's been a pretty rugged year so far on an emotional level, and right now I feel like I'm operating on auto pilot. As Alison Moyet said, "I'm all cried out."

Again I am just trying to focus on the positive and bless that this problem has been found without her actually being ill from it, and that we are lucky enough to live in a country that has the resources to treat it. Kia kaha, kia kaha.

Earthquake

2011-02-26T14:18:00.001+13:00

What can one say about something so devastating that is affecting us all. To be honest my faith in the Universe is wobbling a bit now after too much awfulness already this year.

The boy is ok but his house has suffered damage. They are still without water and power but getting by. I can still hear his scream on the phone when another aftershock hit.

I can't even conceive of how MaxL and hundreds of others are feeling with their family and friends still in the CTV building rubble. The emotions and trauma that they are all facing, and in the case of XChequer, having to deal with a grim discovery on a CD clean up mission.

I, like so many others, feel totally useless sitting in my ivory tower and not able to do anything other than keep in contact and send money. However, we have raised a staggering sum of money in the last 24 hours and the media is saying this is what Christchurch needs.

I thought of going down for the weekend to help physically in some way, but everyone is still too dazed to make decisions, and XChequers words were "keep living life as normal and tell us about it so we can remember that normality will return."

Normal life for Christchurch seems inconcievable at this point.

Arohanui to all, kia kaha.

Not So Chip Time

2011-02-22T21:13:00.001+13:00

Fuk! However the bits of flesh clinging to the lycra does amuse me.

Chip Time

2011-02-20T13:15:00.001+13:00

Round the Bays again this morning. If anyone is interested in what my time was this is the chip number to look for.

I think I may have done my best time ever with this run, it's so much easier without a hangover. I forgot to look at the clock at the end so will have to wait for the newspaper tomorrow for my chip time.

I'm sure it's beer o'clock now!

Update: Time 43.18, which means a pace of just under 10k an hour. Place 2354 from a field of over 11,000. I'm happy. I beat the 20 year old work slave by over a minute, and am refusing to acknowledge her cry of ill health!

Busy

2011-02-15T21:27:00.000+13:00

Though I swore I'd never do it again, of course I have, so have been quiet of late because I've been putting together another lesbian event. I have booked this gorgeous woman.

No need to explain why I just HAD to do it.

Astrology

2011-02-07T21:10:00.001+13:00

I see from news reports last week that some astronomer has said that the stars have all shuffled around, that there are now 13 constellations, and that everyone is no longer the starsign they thought they were. I like a gazillion other people regularly, yet randomly read my horoscope, but have now decided this astronomer must be correct.

Below is an excerpt from a large astrological site, it is an extract from the February forecast for my sign.

This month Venus will move through Capricorn, the very best sign for you, for there Venus will fill your house of true love. While you have Venus so beautifully oriented this month, why not pick up something new to wear that will make you feel simply fabulous? Two of your most sensational nights will be Friday, February 4, and Saturday, February 5 - divine on so many counts.

Though I did have very lovely and entertaining nights on the 4th and 5th, I think the fact that they were spent with friends keeping me laughing and smiling through yet another romance disaster is a tad incongruous.

I'm totally with this astronomer dude.

Accuracy

2011-02-01T21:48:00.001+13:00

One of the teams finally had their Christmas event last weekend. I had purchased the beverages for them and organised for it to be at the venue. This morning when I got in I found a box in my office containing two bottles of bubbles and few bottles of soft drink, which I figured were the leftovers.

During my morning rounds I passed the team leader who said he'd put the leftovers in my office and commented on how precise the calculation of supplies had been. In the spirit of the catchphrase de jour I "took the compliment." However I still can't help thinking, accuracy and efficiency, that's what you pay me for!

Life on the Edge

2011-01-29T18:28:00.000+13:00

...of the sofa that is! I did find myself saying to the video store owner today, as we were having our post Saturday afternoon run chatter, that I DO have a life, honestly. I won't see him for the next two weeks, that'll show him!

However, while the pies are cooking (sublimation comfort food) and I'm watching tv during that process, there has been a commercial break.

Is it just me?... or?...... but Para has a foam and rubber sale on. Doesn't that sound a bit rude?

Last Update

2011-01-27T20:06:00.000+13:00

I promise!

They are testing their wings getting ready to fly off. I did try to get an image of that exercise but the little shits stood totally still while I had the camera, then mayhem at the coalface prevented a second attempt. They no longer have fluff and are all covered in feathers.

Still way too cute. Time to book in the counselling I think.

Go Figure

2011-01-25T21:33:00.003+13:00

As the child turned 18 on the weekend I have had several phone calls with the IRD trying to find out how this affects the WFF tax credit I receive. I call it a tax credit, but really it is more long winded than that. Other countries seem to manage parental tax relief quite simply by taxing at a separate rate. New Zealand however taxes you at the full rate then refunds a portion back to you each week. I guess one could look at it as a form a job creation.

My first phone call at the end of last year gave me answer A, my second phone call two weeks ago gave me answer B. As you can imagine I was a bit confused so I tried again last week and this time got answer C. I very politely, though through gritted teeth, explained that this was the third different answer I'd been given, and before I lost my rag completely could I please speak with a supervisor, or someone who at least has some working knowledge of the policies. I was then transferred to a supervisor.

The supervisor gave me answer A, so I then questioned why I had been given answers B and C. The supervisor then decided she needed to call me back after she had READ THE ACT. Is it just me but surely the people answering these calls should have some knowledge of the acts they are giving information on?

I duly got the call back and answer B was confirmed, which means no more WFF tax credit as the child is not at school or University. I then questioned what was available for a single parent fully supporting an 18 year old who was not in formal education. I was directed to WINZ.

I have now just looked at the WINZ website and see that the child does qualify and probably could get a benefit as she works less than 12 hours a week. The benefit is three times the amount of the WFF tax credit I previously received.

I don't think I really need to say anymore.

R.I.P Jarvis

2011-01-20T20:23:00.002+13:00

I am officially over the seagulls. I appear to have been made seagull monitor without consultation.

Last Thursday my swipe card had barely finished going bing on the reader, when I was summoned from two directions. Jarvis was lying on his side and couldn't get up, the entire family was gathered, fretting and unable to help. Seemed it was my role to fix. [memo to self; include in JD] Fortunately by the time I had managed to get the day kicked off, then focus on bird and get rescue number from kind friend, it had disappeared. Today I got an email from the stockbrokers saying the SPCA had called to inform them of the demise of Jarvis due to excessive wing damage. Must have been the first fall. Bugger. They are quite un-co though.

Today I had another seagull rescue email, this time from the librarian. An adult was trapped in the access area to the helipad. I went up to investigate and found a large dumfuk sitting on the window ledge looking out and making futile attempts to fly though the glass. The entire area is open and had it turned round it could have seen and gone up and out, but it wouldn't move from the shelf. I figured it was a male, so went inside and told the librarian that it was exhibiting the basic male identifier of "more balls than brains" thus it was his seagull to take care of. I only do Mothers.

I'm sure there's more to my life than seagulls. It really can't be this sad.

Advanced Subtle Child Abuse

2011-01-17T19:52:00.001+13:00

One evening last week the teenager came home very early from her job. Following this unexpected return home was a flurry of activity, including bathroom activity, as she readied herself to go and stay at the boyfriends for the night.

When I went to the bathroom after she had departed, I saw there was a layer of freshly shaved hair on the bottom of the bath, and no need to say she hadn't been shaving her legs.

Tomorrow I'm off to Auckland for the night and she is having one her friends to stay, a last girly night before her pal goes away again. I have just done my own personal grooming routine, and yes, there is a layer of hair left all over the bottom of the bath.

I'm loving this new level of child abuse.

They Survived

2011-01-10T14:16:00.000+13:00

I had to go in to work for a few hours today and was greeted with the news that the babies survived the holidays. The deck however is completely white with seagull poo, but the babies are alive and well.

Aren't they just sooooo cute? And yes I am aware we may need counselling in the future to deal with empty nest syndrome.

Dramatic Rescue

2010-12-24T10:26:00.001+13:00

When I got in to the office yesterday the other early starting staff member was fretting badly. Two of the babies had fallen out of the nest and were huddling in a corner, and we were both frustrated at not being able to do anything as we can't reach the balcony from our level.

About an hour later while I was pretending to be the receptionist on level 21 I heard a large amount of screeching and squawking and could see seagulls flying and diving. Five minutes later the following email arrived.

"At some point this earlier this morning, 2 of our short friends from the Seagull’s nest, possibly aided by the Northerly, took an unscheduled flying lesson. The trip ended with them bundled into the corner of the balcony near the window cleaner’s crane gear. Mum and Dad stood watch over their errant children, alarmingly leaving the third chick alone in the nest.

A surprisingly senior looking stockbroker from L12 got one back into the nest but had to retreat from the dive bombing attack that could have ruined his Christmas, not to mention his dry-clean only suit. 10 minutes later, the L12 ornithological society were out again, but this time they were tooled up. The pictures tell the story..."

Needless to say I took them down a bottles of bubbles as thanks for their efforts.

We are now all fretting as to how they will survive over the holidays if they fall out of the nest while there is no one to rescue them.

Birth followed by almost Death

2010-12-21T20:10:00.002+13:00

We had birth over the weekend. I was there sweating it out all weekend but didn't check, so on Monday morning when we had new babies I was as surprised as the rest of the staff at their arrival and cuteness. I got the first baby photo today.

Jarvis, as I'm told he is called, had a near death experience today. I think the father was baby minding while Mum had her first fly about in weeks. Jarvis fell off the planter box this afternoon! Bad child minder! However, Jarvis spent a mere nanosecond near death on the ground because an office worker from level 12 ran out, braved the squawking screaching Mummy, and scooped Jarvis straight back into the nest.

To be honest, it really is level 12's seagull and not ours, it is their deck. We're only voyeurs.

This is my life?

Letter to Santa

2010-12-15T20:12:00.001+13:00

Dear Santa,
I know it feels like you have given me a gorgeous gift already, but just in case you felt like giving me a totally material item here's a wee hint.

Like the other gorgeous gift, they are just so swoonworthy.

Lots of love
un-pc lesbian

Seagull Update

2010-12-13T20:48:00.000+13:00

We are now overdue. In the interim Daddy has been so industrious bringing her new bits of flotsam every day that her nest is now twice the size it was last week. Compared to that image she is now sitting on a two storey nest.

It also seems on a windy day it is preferable to have the wind blowing up your arse instead of down your beak.

To be continued.

Yet Another Office Update

2010-12-07T19:23:00.000+13:00

I promised Scuba Nurse I would put this up.

One of the year two's got into the office on Monday morning to find that this had happened to his work station.

It does explain the random question I'd received from one of the summer clerks about catering packs of foil. I'm glad I deterred them from raiding the kitchen.

I think the year two quite enjoyed it and didn't want it to be removed as it meant he got to work in a REAL office for the day. One with walls and a door.

It's all go at the office!

2010-12-06T19:35:00.000+13:00

Now that the boxes have departed from the floor a new obsession has gripped the staff of level 13. Suddenly the print room staff and a programmer have become ornithologists, albeit highly specialised ornithologists, but if you want to know anything about the life cycle of seagulls, my office is the place to visit.

Let me introduce you to Jillian Livingstone Seagull.

Her partner Jonathon is a highly attentive Daddy, and very efficient about bringing her food and new bits of flotsam for the nest. He is also a highly motivated guard and defender. The entire balcony surround is now white with seagull poo, and if anyone attempts to go on to the balcony he yells at them loudly and attacks. It may be some time before the balcony can be cleaned.

We have confirmation of three eggs, thanks to the programmer and a very old set of binoculars that were an Xmas gift that never made it home. Due date is 12 December.

I do so look forward to getting back to the office next Monday, I'm particularly keen to see feeding time.

Not So Rich

2010-11-30T21:57:00.001+13:00

I'm linking to this story because A, Cactus told me to, and B,it's a bloody good read.

Some silly boy is trying to take on our leader the Whale. Off you go and have a chuckle.

I've Been Ever So Butch.

2010-11-29T20:11:00.001+13:00

Now that summer has suddenly arrived my deck has been calling to me loudly, telling me to move out there for the season. Yesterday I thought sod the fukkin tax department, who yet again have NOT got back to me even though they promised, so I went and spent this months tax bill money on some deck furniture. The furniture required some construction, hence a small moment of butchness.

Without too much stress I managed to construct the furniture, and I did it while wearing a skirt so I guess one clould say I was technically being futch. Anyway, below is my new furniture, no need to guess what famous store it came from.

I have already been mocked today over my butchness in putting this together, so before anyone asks, YES, this did require the use of a tool to construct. It came supplied with said tool. The 'instructions' also implied that a rod needed to be inserted in the 'tool' to assist with tightening the final bolt, yet no rod was supplied. Sadly a steel chopstick died in the process of putting the table together.

I only like plastic chopsticks anyway!

Boxes Boxes Everywhere

2010-11-23T20:15:00.001+13:00

Sadly I have been too busy to make the forts I referred to below, but I have managed to get an image of one small section of the boxes.

They are being picked up tomorrow to go to storage.

Some more boxes were delivered yesterday, and as I was so short of space I have had to store them in my office. These ones are NOT going to storage and I don't intend to share them with anyone.

I may be gone for some time.

Across the road from the office this morning

2010-11-19T19:59:00.000+13:00

not a lot more I can say really.

I know I shouldn't....

2010-11-18T21:49:00.000+13:00

.......but I don't know if I'll be able to resist.

We had 300 archive boxes of evidence delivered today. They are stacked in long lines and towers down the hallway and every available space on my floor so they can be barcoded and indexed, then sent off for proper storage.

All day, all I have wanted to do is pinch the sheets and duvet from the sick bay and make forts. I may not be able to resist tomorrow.

Awwww, Bless

2010-11-17T19:53:00.001+13:00

Number one daughter has gone back to the sperm donors for the summer to work and save money for her second year. She has managed to get a job which she says is "climbing up trees and counting apples." As I figure a ladder will be involved I am not fretting, but I am laughing madly at the 7.30am start.

We are back to text and email communication, and I have had a couple of classics in the last two days. Firstly a text I received yesterday, "my life is so boring, I am loving it." And then an email I received:

You like that dumb "awkward family photos" website... these are real ones that have come up on my faceboowall in the last week.

I know some weird people.

I'm just glad you're not crazy like these families.

Love you bye

Here is one of the pictures.

I do look forward to more of her correspondence over summer.

No Smoking #2

2010-11-14T12:45:00.000+13:00

I have had another no smoking experience. Over the last couple of weeks I have been doing a series of office moves at the coalface. Usually I don't move the computers and just reimage them so they are all clean and tidy for the new user, however due to chinese wall information barriers it has been easier to move the hardware in this project.

I completed the final move on Thursday. I had been dithering over this one as it involved me moving from an office with a stunning view, to one with only an averagely good view. The fact that 3 people now take up the space that was previously occupied by just moi is irrelevant.

When I fired up my computer after moving it the screen lost image after a few seconds. I changed the dongle which is the usual culprit but still no image, THEN, suddenly, a little puff of fine smoke came out of the fan and the fan started whirring away very loudly. I quickly forced it to shut down.

As I have been naughty and stored some data and files on the local drive, I immediately rang my main IT girl in the Auckland office and told her what had happened. She laughed hysterically and then proceeded to YELL it out to the entire IT department that I had made my computer produce smoke. I take it from the roars of laughter I could hear down the phone that this was the most amusing thing they had heard all week. Whimper, their chortling was not helping me retrieve files.

I then decided to live dangerously and pushed the on switch again, and what do you know, it started up and decided to play nicely. I have now saved and refiled all the data I was fretting about, and intend to keep using the machine until it totally fries itself. That will be most amusing.

I wish my diamond drama had the same happy ending. I found this morning that I have lost the diamond out of my left lobe in the last 24 hours. On top of the ring I lost earlier this year that means about half a carat of diamonds and attached gold work that I have donated to the universe. Whimper. Obviously was not meant to be.

New Boy

2010-11-09T20:55:00.004+13:00

Dear New Big Boy at the Gym,

Around the wall and on the mirrors at the gym there are two signs. One says "do NOT drop weights on the floor", and the other one says "please put the weights away after use." I assume you can't read.

If you had looked at what the other people were doing instead of checking what I was doing, (yes yes, I know I AM the only woman doing weights there, get used to it) you would have seen that Nice Big Boy put his weights away immediately after use, and Irritating Boy who was using all the equipment and weights I wanted put his away after use. Everyone except you put their weights away after using them.

I realise this was possibly your first night there, so I worked around it, however if it happens again you can guarantee I'll be TELLING ON YOU!

Unpclesbian

PS. Could you also do something about those shredded stubbies you were wearing. I really don't wish to catch a glimpse of your dangly bits while you're bench pressing a weight that is obviously too big for you.

Torn

2010-11-08T21:49:00.000+13:00

I purchased a gorgeous purple Charlie Brown tunic dress on the weekend at the new designer recycle Red Cross store in my 'hood. It has lovely ruffly bits at the bottom of the sleeves and hem. It is also Quite Close Fitting.

I tried it on with leggings, heels and my stretch 'n' grow underneath to smooth out the lumpy bits. I then asked the child for her opinon. She said it looked good, it made me look slim and that I could wear it in public.

I am now torn. Is what she said true, or is it child revenge?

Hot?

2010-11-08T19:08:00.000+13:00

Today I was called to help a client who was having issues connecting to the wireless network in one of the meeting rooms. I went in and did my thing, gave the airport settings a bit of loving, and got him connected.

When I left the room my receptionist, who is a similar age to I, came running up to me and whispered in my ear, "isn't he hot, he is just gorgeous."

I then had to confess that I hadn't really looked at him, or even noted his looks as I was too busy intimately fondling his lovely shiny Mac, and stopping the drool escaping from my mouth. I am so easily pleased.

I'm Back

2010-11-03T20:32:00.000+13:00

I've just had a quick trip to Auckland which included a bit of a Big Night Out.

I managed 5 bars that night, and along the way I was given a ticket to the Auckland Fetish Ball, so I spent a bit of time in there as well. I must say that even though I thought the Wellington one was very tame, it beat the Auckland one hands down. The night included the obligatory muscle displays to prove a point, model walking down Gay rd, stiletto heel running to prove another point and finally lashings of hot sweaty half naked gay boys to finish up with. The evidence is over on facebook.

As I didn't have a hangover the next day I walked over the gully and played pool with a new friend. She is a very sharp pool player, possibly even betterer than the ex. I did laugh when she asked after an hour if I wanted to carry on as she was concerned I may be bored from losing all the time. I had to explain that losing is the normal for me, and playing pool is not about the game but about drinking beer and chatting.

Monday was a lazy chill out day with lashings of coffee time with the worlds best dog.

He seemed very tired on the walk home and slept and snored for hours after we got back, so I left him at home when I went for a run. Apparently that was the wrong thing to do as I had a very miffed dog by my side for the rest of the day, glued in case I went out the door again. I was also a bit slow on the uptake when he decided he needed a cuddle, so he used stand over tactics. That is, he climbed on the sofa and stood over me with his face close to mine until I applied appropriate cuddles. Bad Aunty!

Tuesday was back to work, back to life, back to reality. sigh

Second Child Syndrome

2010-10-25T13:48:00.002+13:00

I've been told off from afar as I haven't been blogging enough lately, but as I haven't been doing anything other than work there's not been a lot to comment on. Had a massive week last week with another coming up, but yay I get to head off and play in Auckland at the end of it.

The main topic of discussion this week has been what I refer to in the title. When I left the gym yesterday I got a text from first born saying "62% ATTENDANCE FOR THE YEAR, WTF". That meant she had arrived home and read the sisters final school report. When I got home first born was bristling with indignation about it. It really winds her up that the sister just isn't trying, as she thinks the sister is far smarter than herself, so she can't understand why second born is cruising and just scraping in with the minimum marks needed. First born is smart, but is also a solid worker which shows in her A- average for her first year at Uni.

On Saturday I went on a little road trip and caught up with two sets of old friends, both of whom have children of similar ages to mine. At both houses the first born was there studying madly for first year exams, and the second born was nowhere to be seen. The second child syndrome was discussed in much depth. Sadly we have all come to the same outcome, and that is to just let them be and learn their lessons the hard way. In each family the second born thinks they know everything, can't be told anything, and refuse to listen to advice from parents or other siblings. We have had enough of being abused or ignored so have let them be, sigh. At least I know I'm not alone in the issue.

I am continuing in the usual method of child discipline, and she hasn't had any internet for most of a week. She has been out a lot, but is now home and ill so I guess the chores will be done soon. Below is a pic of why the cable gets removed. This picture is a few weeks old, but the room is back to the same state.

For those of you on facebook the picture is up there and at the request of Cactus has been tagged to identify items.

I have just finished the great window cleaning adventure, but I see now I may have to revisit some parts. Oh well, at least the pollen crust is gone. Now off to clock up a few k's on the treadmill, as the weather man lied and it's too fukkin windy to run outside, and hopefully throw some weights around to finish with. Oh my, it's such a scintillating life I lead.

Latest OCD Tune

2010-10-17T12:24:00.000+13:00

I want to sing like Clarence Fountain! If anyone has a better version of this let me know as I'd really like to hear the piano part more. And NO, there is no maximum amount of times that one can listen to this over and over and over.

Wartime Rations

2010-10-10T14:12:00.000+13:00

We are currently living on a wartime rationing economy while I pay off the fukkin tax bill. The photo below will give you an indication of how this works. I'm sure I can get another two months out of my eyeliner pencil.

You Know

2010-10-09T10:47:00.001+13:00

You know you've been hanging out too much in one section of society when you see an ad on tv for an upcoming show, and it takes a few minutes before you realise that Trans-Tasmania is not a gender blurred comedy team from Hobart, but in fact a play off between NZ and Oz teams.

Sigh

Happy Camper

2010-10-06T18:07:00.002+13:00

Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings, front row seat, I am squirming with joy. Horn players, lots of horn players, what more could a girl want. This is one happy camper.

Random Wine Wankery

2010-10-04T20:37:00.001+13:00

I went on a date this weekend. I guess you could call it a practice date, as it's been a fair few months since I last went on one that I had to remember how it all worked.

We met at a wine bar and after the second glass I found I lapsed into a bit of wine wankery. I have since been told that I was being informative, but that may just be politeness talking. However, I had been looking at the wine list and was saying how I read these lists by the name of the winemaker and their palates, then started rattling them all off.

Oooh, I've now just thought of a good game. Phil, you may want to play, Kenniff you can't for obvious reasons! On this wine list there was; the sperm donor, Tim Turvey, John Hancock, Gavin Yortt, Tony Bish (swoon), some Rod McDonald, many Peter Cowleys, a few Grant Edmonds, and I think a Kate Radburn.The game is, name these wineries, a chocolate fish for each one you get right.

I ended up chatting with the Wine bar owner a bit as well, as I'd got on to the topic of Grange Hermitage and the shocking prices it commands since Robert Parker rated it so highly and the American market pushed up the price. (see I told you it was total wankery) The owner then asked of my involvement in the industry, so I told of my working in the business, and of my long term connection with the sperm donor.

He then said, "G***** has done a couple of winemaker dinners for us this year, I've caught up with him a few times." It took all my willpower to resist saying. "lucky you, that equates to about 15 times more time than he has spent with his children this year". Three hours per year really is not acceptable.

I will now put my claws away and carry on with my night.

Pure Vanity

2010-10-02T17:12:00.000+13:00

I had a hair cut today and while I was trying to take pictures of it I ended up taking this one of my back. Yes, I know it's total shameless vanity putting it up here and on facebook, but it's the first time I've seen properly the result of all those hours in the gym. I did have another one that showed my lats better, but my shoulders and biceps didn't look so good, and since this is about pure unadulterated vanity, you only get this one.

Failed Again

2010-09-28T19:56:00.000+13:00

I failed another test yesterday, the earthquake kit check. The firm issues all staff with a small civil defence pack but we are expected to add to it with other items such as shoes and clothes. In light of the 4 September quake there has been much emphasis put on ensuring everyone has a full kit.

We had a surprise check yesterday and when asked where my kit was I found that "on the bedroom floor so I can trip over it" was not the correct answer. Whimper. It will be in the office tomorrow. I will most definitely get a chocolate fish on the next lightening raid.

Today I've been a failure on other levels as well. I blame it on a touch of the child's sudden onset short duration glandular fever, plus the fact that there is a new boy learning the print room and he is doused in a smell that evokes thoughts still too fresh. I'm a pathetic sensitive soul with olfactory memory, so may tell his manager that particular fragrance is banned on my floor.

As penance for being so wimpish I did 45 minutes cardio on the most hated equipment, rower and bike with sprints on both, and in one of those karmic moments the following tune came up on shuffle.

I am looking forward to tomorrow. I'm going to the suburbs to look at a particular item of furniture. I will take my earthquake kit with me in case I can't find my trail of crumbs. I'm sure it's going to take me most of the day to do this task.

Not Fair!

2010-09-27T20:25:00.002+13:00

Bloody Aucklanders get everything. I've just found out about the show below, and not just one show, but two. So Not Fair!! Why can't they share. My Mummy taught me it was good to share. Of course it is way too late for me to get there for it, plus I have 'other plans' for this weekend.

Not only does it feature members of Joy Division (and in Finn tradition an offspring as well), and they play the album sequentially, but also one of the support acts is my old mate Harry. Harry the Bastard of the Club H releases, aka Harry Ratbag from Rip it Up when it a freebie way back in the 80's, aka Harry Russell one of my partners in crime at the Six Month Club. Ugh, brief break for a drift down memory lane....

A Certain Bar, my that was so long ago. Anyone out there remember it and the blue pool tables? The Six Month Club was the bizz. I was the coat check girl, my bestest job EVAH. Danced my arse off, made a fortune, only drank French bubbles. The Brat wasn't quite so lucrative for fun or coat checking loot due to layout, but stuck it for a few weeks before I went off and explored the world on my coat money.

So, not only does Auckland get the only Adam show, but now the uber cool Unknown Pleasures one as well. I am moving to advanced sulk mode.

Deja vu

2010-09-25T19:35:00.000+12:00

A few weeks ago I rewatched the movie L A Story, a Steve Martin movie where the lead character got his life advice from a talking freeway billboard. I had an l.a.story moment today. I ran round the bays clockwise, and when I got to the edge of Greta Point the speed control sign flashed at me, à la l.a.story. It said 10k. I waved, said thanks and carried on running laughing. It was only talking to me, yes?

Today

2010-09-23T19:16:00.000+12:00

Today's theme tune comes to you from the letter S and that big yellow thing that has been in the sky all day.

Lust for Life

2010-09-21T20:03:00.000+12:00

While doing my workout this evening this tune came up on shuffle. I tried to dance but I was face down on a bench doing flys. I did try. I've got the hook stuck in my brain and am going to make it my motto for the week.

I think I may even put it on to my runlist, and that would make it the first new entry on that list for over six months. I'm picking it will need to go around the 7k mark.

Also, please tell me that callouses are sexy.

Need a Pimp

2010-09-20T20:08:00.001+12:00

I know I've been bleating on about this dating thing but I think I've figured a new solution. As I've said here and over on the Gaynz post, the lesbian dating sites are just way too scary for me. NZAlien and her roomie are perservering, but as they are US based they have a much larger pool to paddle in.

Today I've come up with a whole new solution and that is; I need a pimp. I haven't quite figured out how it would work, but it sounds like a bloody good idea. I guess I could get the pimp to scout out possibles based on the criteria referred to in the dating post, or maybe someone who is already a dating site veteran could trawl the profiles for me. So, if anyone is interested in pimping for me, you know the drill. Just comment.

Of course as I've been pondering pimping the perfect tune came to mind, but sadly the only clip I can find has some awful visuals, apt, but awful. So close your eyes and just listen to this one.

On a completely different note - Little Drummer Boy, Creepy Twitchy Guy was at the gym again tonight and I only had wheelchair boy (swoon) and the Bieber wannabes to protect me until the big boys arrived. Make him Go Away!

Random Shite

2010-09-18T13:34:00.000+12:00

Well I failed the blood test, second one in a row, so it appears I have to change my diet as the fresh fruit and vegetable low fat diet with lean protein and whole grains just isn't working. Kinda sucks when I sit and watch Hairy Boy Shagger eating all the biscuits, fried food, and other crap constantly without exercising, and her cholesterol is perfect. Have to re do the test again in three months. I'm predicitng no change in the number and figure that is just my baseline number.

I'm about to go and have my first run in over ten days, once my lunch settles. I fear it's not going to be fun, but one must. I'm hoping that while I'm sweating it out that I will be able to figure out how I am going to seat ten at table tonight, as I only have eight chairs. I'm also hoping I will figure out the cooking thing.

I had very funny time out last night with the Russian and Ms Gotlucky. I'm in an andro phase at the moment so went out dressed as such, and spent the evening on a sofa in a bar flanked by two divine specimans of uber femme. Ms Gotlucky had a fluffy outer layer on that one could pat and snuggle into. The Russian reminded me of a drum majorette. I could see that every male in the bar was jealous of me.

Oh bliss, have got home from coffee loading to find that number one daughter has done all the dishes, and she doesn't even live here. Yay

Fading Fast

2010-09-15T21:46:00.000+12:00

I have to have one of those fasting level blood tests tomorrow morning which means nothing but water for 12 hours prior. I'm two hours in and fading fast. My own personal motto is never let two hours go by without eating, and I've got over ten left to go.

I don't know how I'm going to cope in the morning, as those who know me well know that the time gap between the alarm going off and porridge ingestion is as minimal as possible. It can be done in under three minutes. Even the thought of a wee sleep in isn't compensating for the lack of porridge on waking. Whimper.

On a completely unrelated note I've been looking at lesbian internet dating sites and posted on it over here. I do think I should make some effort at this dating thing, but fuk me, those websites are scary. That's one idea I don't think I'll be investigating further.

I was also going to ramble on about the latest development in the continuing communication with the IRD over the shocking tax bill, but their latest level of incompetency really deserves a post of it's own.

Apartment Etiquette

2010-09-09T12:14:00.000+12:00

As I am new to apartment living I have a question on apartment etiquette.

The mail boxes are all located in the ground floor internal lobby, and keeping in mind that this is an old hospital and some areas are still reminiscent of the building's past life, my question is - can one wear their favourite big fluffy and slippers to go check the mail or should one don proper clothes for doing this task?

Movie Review

2010-09-06T19:36:00.001+12:00

Over the last couple of weeks while I've been busy trying to get the bandaids to adhere firmly to the piece of my heart that has been chipped, I realised that I have been neglecting my blogging duties over at Gaynz. As I've been feeling extremely brain dead I asked the editor to suggest some topics, and one suggestion was to review some lesbian movies.

I duly wrote a post, but after reading it I think it's better suited for here. So here you are, a review of every lesbian movie I have ever seen.

If These Walls Could Talk 2
Interesting concept, first story very sad though still meaningful even in todays society. The last story a total waste of energy and removed any traces of hotness Ellen Degeneres may ever have had. Second story had Chloe Sevigny as a hot butch.

And Then Came Lola
Quirky offbeat movie with great shots of San Francisco. Never having seen the original that the title references, I have no idea if the story is in any way similar or not. Hot butch character the Italian Stallion played by Cathy DeBuono

Better Than Chocolate
Another quirky offbeat movie in the fashion of Desperately Seeking Susan, my favourite genre. Canadian apparently. Has hot andro butch character called Kim.

Bound
This movie is quite old and it appeared at one point that I was the only lesbian on the planet who had never seen it. This was rectified about a year ago. Great movie in the style of Guy Ritchie and Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Has uber hot butch character Corky. Swoon

That is it. Sometimes I fail terribly at being a lesbian.

Retail Therapy

2010-09-03T17:53:00.000+12:00

...is far better than chocolate at helping ease a girls heartache.....

I will still of course indulge in lashings of chocolate tonight as well, as it's compulsary while watching the deeply trashy NZ Top Model.

Life Sucks Sometimes

2010-09-01T19:01:00.002+12:00

Why is it that what was the sweetest thing in your life can suddenly become the most painful?

The End.

Dead Animal

2010-08-29T18:47:00.000+12:00

I am currently reading this book on the recommendation of nzalien. This afternoon I've finished the meat and potatoes chapter and guess what I'm having for dinner.....scotch fillet, rosti, buttered spinach and mushrooms. nom

Dinner was planned before I read the chapter, honest!

Fetish Ball

2010-08-29T09:01:00.000+12:00

Flogging, tick, done!

Please tell me I don't have to go out again before Xmas.

Life

2010-08-26T17:12:00.005+12:00

In the last couple of days life has thrown me one of those curve balls.

Or to quote the words of Neneh Cherry:

that goddam bitch called life has made me cry

I think I'll poke her squarely in the eye.

Over the last few days I've been dealing with some emotions that I prefer to not have in my life, so to get them out of my head I am going to vent them on others more deserving, so...

ANZ Credit Cards: You dumb fukkers. I changed my address by secure mail on 29 June, I have just checked, so why do your records not have this showing until 27 July? That is why I have received no statements, nor the new credit card you sent me that you now have to cancel. I have been to my old house, which is still empty (yay, divine retribution for the landlords being so parsimonious about lightbulbs) and there is no mail there. Which leads me on to.....

NZ Post: Why the fuk have I paid to have my mail redirected when you can't seem to do it? Do I get a credit for every item not received? Will the sale of goods act or fair trading apply to your slack service?

Ooooh, and while I'm on a roll, IRD, you fukkers gave me a timeline of 25 August to have a response to my application for a reassessment, still waiting.

I am going to the Fetish Ball on Saturday, and while I may not have sorted life by then, hopefully it will put me in a better frame of mind and normal chirpier transmission will return.

Vanity

2010-08-23T20:05:00.000+12:00

At the moment I am suffering from some constant allergy/sinus issue, and everyday as soon as I walk outdoors I start weeping and snivelling. I currently have a wee red rash on my face as well which of course is very sexy. This proves, as I somewhat expected, that both the type 1 and type 2 antihistamines I currently take are working brilliantly.

As the weeping makes my make up run, leaving lovely black streaks, I occasionally venture outdoors sans maquillage to avoid this unkempt look. Today I went for a run at the gym in this state.

As I was sorting my bits and getting ready to run, Little Drummer Boy arrived and said hello. I was holding the menopause fan, as I has been moving it to place by my treadmill, when vanity kicked in and I attempted to hold the entire conversation with him with the fan held in front of my face.

Much later on when I was stretching I realised that girl logic had kicked in as well, as I didn't want LDB to the naked face and sinus eyes, but it was TOTALLY ok for him to see the red faced sweaty mess bouncing around on the treadmill. Go figure?

Girl logic rocks!

When I Grow Up

2010-08-22T21:09:00.004+12:00

While I was preparing dinner this evening I recalled one of those "where do you think you will be in twenty years" conversations you sometimes end up having over the dinner table. It came to mind as I sliced the avocado open.

You are guaranteed, if it's a table full of lesbians, that one will say that they will be the crazy cat lady at the end of the street. I have come to realise in the last few years what my calling in that direction will be.

I will be the crazy avocado lady. I have had the odd uncontrollable practice moment at the supermarket in the last few years and I see now, as PMT becomes a memory, that I will be able do it out of sheer bloody mindedness when I'm a true senile Nana. I will hover by the avocado stands and scream loudly when anyone commits the sin, "Don't Squeeze the Avocados". Every culprit will be forced to purchase the avocado that they have squeezed, and if I have lucked in and become senile lotto winning Nana I'll install video camera's.

My reasons for doing this? Below is a prime example of what happens when you "gently" squeeze an avocado to see if it's ripe, a collection of fingertip bruises and one inedible avocado, so "Don't Squeeze the Avocados!"

Life on the Edge

2010-08-15T16:17:00.001+12:00

While I was out having a drink with a couple of friends last night before we went on the fabbo show, the topic of conversation moved to the exciting things we had done the night before, Friday night.

Below is a photo of what one of my friends had done for their Friday night entertainment.

Funnily for some reason the words pillow princess spring to mind!

I then started on the scintillating story of what I had done on my Friday night and proceeded to describe in great detail how I had spent my time on this site, and here trying to find if it's the svchost.exe file or the wuauclt.exe file that is giving me grief. My research is telling me to delete the C:\WINDOWS\SoftwareDistribution\DataStore directory file, but I'm dithering.

I then woke my pals up and we went off to the show and had a grand night.

So geeks.....help. You can see from the threads I'm reading that it's a fairly recent issue that is annoying the fuck out of people. Make it go away!

Another one for Little Drummer Boy

2010-08-08T16:47:00.001+12:00

Weekend Workouts.

Saturday:
Even though I was awake in plenty of time to make it to the 10am circuit class, the thought of working out before I'd had coffee made my body cringe, so afternoon run 10.5k. ( and yay, wheelchair boy came and worked out in front of me)

Sunday:
An all over session.
10 minutes bike as there is a new supply of trash magazines.
Lat pull downs 37.5k
Back fly things, (don't know proper name, done lying on tummy on a bench) 5kg
Kneeling Row 14kg
Pec deck 32.5kg
Single arm preacher curls 14kg
Seated bicep curls with twist 7kg
Arnies 5kg. Still only doing really low weights with shoulders, whimper. Want Shoulders!
Swiss ball skull crushers 17.5kg
Another 10 minutes bike to finish the trash magazine I'd started earlier.

And now it's beer o'clock.

My Life in Haircuts

2010-08-03T21:40:00.002+12:00

While I was looking for a particular photo last week (one of myself and my first car) I came across a vast collection of old images of myself and the ever changing haircuts. I have scanned a selection of them, so here you are readers, my life in haircuts.

This first one is from the start of my working life at some work party. This was the days before fancy straighteners and curling wands so to get that look you had to plait your hair when wet into a myriad of small plaits, wait for it to dry, endure a day of frizz so that on the second day you got the gentle wave effect. Also note the micro thin eyebrows, possibly only one hair wide.

The hair gradually got shorter. I had asked my hairdresser to cut it all off but he wouldn't so he gave me a compromise cut instead. This was the hair cut that ended up on the catwalk.

Next a new city, and a new do, well on the way to getting it as short as I wanted.

This one is from the full andro and celibacy years. I see I have make up on so that probably means a certain drummers girlfriend had been visiting, my only femme crush, EVER!

Now the Bowie meets Keith Richards look. I used to have random miniature plaits in odd places. This is one of my favourites. This is also before "product" was invented so you can see why I use it now to keep my hair down, not up.

Moving on to the finely cut mullet with christmas cracker toys hanging from my ears.

Followed by a full 80's pom pom taken just before I moved to London.

And ending this section with the post London have to grow it out because the hairdresser melted sections of it from over bleaching. This was also the start of the I'm sure I can conform and do this heterosexual thing phase of my life

There are many many more, the blonde short and long, a red bob, plus another brief phase of long and, shock horror, natural colour, but this little collection is enough for now.

Busted!

2010-08-01T16:47:00.000+12:00

I've just been to the gym to do a weights workout and give the body a big shock in preparation for lasagne eating. As I was leaving my eye caught the notices on the wall, one was asking for expressions of interest in a circuit class (I LOVE circuit) on Saturday mornings.

Guess who's name was at the top of the list - Little Drummer Boy!!!

LDB, you are soooooo sprung. You know it will be unbelievably rude to not say hello next time our training paths cross!

Nice Buns

2010-07-26T14:11:00.001+12:00

Since moving to the new pad some decorative items are of course in different places than they were in the old house, so one gets a different view of some things.

I have just noticed, from my current sofa perch, that Lord Krishna has a really tight set of buns on him. Nice Arse!

Pedantic, moi?

2010-07-26T13:23:00.000+12:00

Too bloody right I am. I have just been on the lovely Trademe answering the inane questions on my current auction, and resisting the urge to give the measurements in inches, when I thought I would have a wee browse around the bedroom furniture section for an item for the childs room.

I am staggered by how many people are trying to sell a verb. The highlight though is the person who is not only selling some draws, but a towl rack as well. The verb selling also seems to be suburb dependent.

That is all.

I Blush

2010-07-20T20:05:00.000+12:00

While I was in Christchurch recently and wandering around the city consuming vast quantities of coffee, boys boy texted to say come and look around his place of employment as we were near by and it was pre the lunchtime rush. He works in a male sex club.

We quickly went for a guided tour. Naturally it was quite dark in many of the spaces so not a lot to see, but sufficient to satisfy curiosity. There were many video screens showing gay boy porn, and I realised I've seen so much boy on boy porn that my reaction was yawn yawn, oh my, another stiff dick and clean shaved butt hole, show me something interesting.

However, in the little maze of rooms were some cubicles that have "glory holes", though quite hard to see in the dark. Now that I am back home I find that each time I wander past a piece of furniture in my house I blush. It was my Mothers glory box. It's just Not Right!

Go Faster

2010-07-18T12:46:00.000+12:00

I figure I only have a few more precision parking attempts left to do then I will have completed the racing stripe on the drivers side of my car.

I think I'll have to man park though to do the passengers side.

Stairway to Heaven?

2010-07-13T22:26:00.000+12:00

I've just had a few days in Christchurch de stressing and indulging in the other yummy activities that Christchurch offers. I had a good run on Saturday morning in preparation for eating these at the party that night.

They all had to be eaten, someone had to do it.

Yesterday we went for a hill and stair walk to make the most of the sunny weather. I don't normally do up, usually keep my exercise routes as flat as possible, but the boy assured me it wasn't too much up. We started by walking up an almost perpendicular slope and then got to the steps. I was quite cocky about it, verbalising how it wasn't as bad as Jacobs Ladder and I've done that a few times.

There was one small detail the boy forgot to mention which was; that at the top of this flight of steps, there was another!!

I survived, the steps are quite shallow so not too killing on the legs. I do secretly think when I'm back to full speed and the permafrost has melted, I may attempt running it.

Can't Resist

2010-07-07T21:50:00.001+12:00

This post is a prime example of why you should be very cautious with your security and access settings on facebook. One of my "friends" was tagged in a photo so I was then able to look at the entire album and came across this wee gem, which of course I pinched.

The female of the species in this image is a very smart young blogger whom I link to from here, and who is having much fun exploring life and sexuality, interspersed with the odd bit of study. The male of species doesn't appear to be Quite So Smart.

Thanks Sinnercyst, and hope you finally got your exam results.

All Done

2010-07-04T09:35:00.000+12:00

The move is complete, in the sense that everything has been taken from one house another. The essentials (beds, internet) have been set up so now it's just the task of unpacking the sea of boxes. I did have a wee moment of panic when I thought there wasn't enough floor space to place all the boxes, but they all fitted.

Not Good Point: The movers smashing the fancy low slung glass light fitting in the dining room of the old house (I neeeeeed all my bond back), and using the boxes clearly marked fragile as the base to stand other boxes on top of.

Good Point: Dinner at a new local eatery where they have paper on the table tops and encourage the patrons to write and draw on it by giving them pencils. There were none on our table so I pulled a pen out of my bag to which the child said, "why is it that the only pen in your handbag is pale blue and sparkly?"

I'm currently hiding in bed, about to go to the market and hoping the unpacking fairy will visit while I'm gone. I forsee another trip to the dump today.

Dear God, Why?

2010-06-29T21:29:00.000+12:00

I'm gonna beat Laughykate to this one! A website that we both enjoy has a new offshoot and I've stolen this wee gem off it.

Welcome to Awkward Family Pet Photo's. Oddly, I don't think I want to know the story behind this picture.

Bye Bye

2010-06-27T18:51:00.013+12:00

Have to say goodbye to this chap as well, our paths have crossed a few times, whimper.

Random Question

2010-06-27T11:05:00.002+12:00

I'm currently up to my eyeballs in packing and downsizing, so normal transmission will resume once all that is complete, however, one random question.

You know when you go to the deli section in the supemarket and get your few hundred grams of chicken or salami etc, and they put it into one of those plastic bags then seal it with the barcode label. Well, is there a special school they send the deli assistants to where they learn how to twist and label those bags, so that no matter how carefully you try, you can't open them without spilling the contents everywhere? Just wondering.

Tonsils Anyone?

2010-06-16T19:09:00.000+12:00

I have acquired a spare set of tonsils. Until this afternoon they were still attached to the child, but are now sitting in a speciman jar in the fridge.

I feel a new 'work of art' coming on, a collage of tonsils and ejected molars. The child is so going to love me when this new creation is put on public display.

We're On the Move

2010-06-15T21:45:00.000+12:00

The Great Flatmate Hunt has come to a most unexpected end, in that the child and I are on the move. We are downsizing and moving to an apartment which we are all very excited about.

It was getting down to the wire, and I'd started singing Bob Marley as well as the usual chanting while I waited for the universe to sort things, then as is the way with the universe I got a thrown a last minute curve ball for a final dither and complication.

Last week for no apparent reason and with no pre planning I went and looked at an apartment that had been adverstised in the paper. I don't know why I went as it was out of my price bracket. I loved it when I saw it, and then the owner dropped the rent for a 1 year lease. The child came and looked at it after school, and I explained all the financial parameters, which included paying board next year, to which she agreed so it was decision made.

That evening I then got an email from someone who would have been the ideal flatmate, but sadly it was too late. I did meet with this woman, and she was lovely but the thought of living on our own was too great. As was the thought of no grounds, no oceans of pink carpet, no masses of housework, no vast power bills from trying to heat the house, and no having to live with the odd quirks of another person. The downside, no furball (who is currently trying to help me write this) She is going back to her first Mother, her first love.

On Saturday I went and signed the first lot of paper work, handed over loot, and "negotiated" a further rent reduction for an 18 month lease, so now we are just waiting for move in day.

We have a few items to download, so I'm thinking of doing a zero value auction on Trademe, with a special gift of a fully functioning crt monitor for whoever wins the auction. Sounds good to me.

So.....the new pad.

Is Jillian Michaels a Lesbian #5

2010-06-10T20:13:00.000+12:00

I must say I am very disappointed that all you "is Jillian Michaels a lesbian" fans haven't been screaming this latest bit of bit of gossip at me. Thankfully at least one person cares about me enough to send on the link.

So a wee excerpt from third to last paragraph page 2:

And though this self-proclaimed "anti-Hollywood girl" would rather watch Lost or hang with best pal actress Vanessa Marcil than go to parties, she does squeeze in time for dates—with men or women. "I've been in love with both," she says candidly.

Yeah, yeah I know similar to the Ladies Home Journal article. So I guess this could be seen as stepping out of the closet one baby step at a time.

Comfort Food

2010-06-09T10:53:00.001+12:00

As you know the weather here the last few weeks has been cold, wet, and miserable which of course means one tends to make warm filling comfort food. As this is food that takes a long slow time to cook it also counts as child abuse.

This weekend I made a classic peasant dish. It was so yummy that word got out and number one daughter turned up the next night to have the leftovers for dinner. Every ridge on her plate was scraped clean. So here it is..........brains in gravy!!

A Wee Announcement

2010-06-07T17:09:00.001+12:00

As many of you are already aware I appear to have become a bit of a media slut. I have joined the blog crew over at GayNZ so now have a second blog running. You can see it here. It uses Wordpress so I guess in blogging terms that means I'm bilingual.

I will still keep this blog going as this is my own personal baby, the topics and posts at Vanity Rules will have a different focus. This site is where I will still prattle on about my life, work outs, Jillian and lets not forget child abuse.

And on that note, when I got home from the gym today the child was all excited as she had just downloaded a new browser, Opera, which allows her to watch youtube, and chat in facebook. So damn, there goes the bandwith again. However I may have spoken too soon, as there has suddenly been a bit of swearing and abusing of the computer, so all may not be happy in Opera land. Somehow I don't think a browser that modern would be compatible with Windows ME (there, I've put it out there), however I'm open to be proved wrong.

And now it's time to go and research dumplings. I have some beef and vegetables slowly braising in the oven and I think it may need dumplings as there appears to be a surfeit of gravy.

Hark, What is this blue stuff?

2010-06-05T09:52:00.005+12:00

Not only is there this weird blue stuff in the sky, but there is a bright yellow orb in the middle of it as well.

The washing line is now full, the other clothes racks are full and on the deck, and I'm about to go out in it and stock up on vitamin D, oh and coffee - neeeeeeed cofffeeeeeee.

The tune? For the title, the fact that her voice is so yummy, and of course for the gorgeous pale orange 70's boilersuit she is wearing. A fashion that a certain High St chain I frequent a lot had a revival of over summer. Funnily, they are all on the sale rack now.

Addendum: I am such a fukkin html whizz now!! I published this post then saw the clip was too wide for my template, and changed the size of it without looking for help, I figured it all out myself!! (yes it is sad what spins my wheels these days!)

Speed Dating

2010-06-01T18:24:00.000+12:00

Oops, no, got that wrong, speedrenting, that's where I'll be tomorrow evening. The flatmate search continues. I think I'll take the child as well so she can learn all about the flat hunting process.

It's quite odd, others tell tales of being indundated with prospective flatmates when they have advertised recently, but so far I've only had a possible no, and a most definite NO turn up. Whimper.

Madly trying to think of ways to rewrite my ads so they draw in the masses, and make people instantly want to move in here, because it really is such a lovely house to live in. I guess my absolute worst case scenario would be to go on a second date with a lesbian. I am chanting madly to ensure that doesn't happen.

There is other news in the world of unpclesbian, of which some of you know already, but I will make a proper announcement about that when there is a bit more to announce about. Now madly searching for something along the lines of "HTML for Dummies".

Flatmate Wanted

2010-05-25T21:28:00.001+12:00

I was informed on the weekend that the flatmate will be moving out shortly, so I am again on the hunt for a new flatmate and shamelessly networking everywhere, including here.

On offer is a double bedroom with built in wardrobe and a private office/lounge in a large sunny house with fabbo views. There is the added extra of the teenager, plus all the usual electronic and cyber necessities one needs to survive. There are of course all those white things that cook, chill, wash and dry your various items of clothing and food, and heat pumps. Lovely heat pumps.

So if you are looking for a new place to live, or know of anyone who is, you know the drill. Just comment me with your contact details and I will give you further information. Comments will not be published.

I am now back to madly chanting and visualising the super cool flatmate I am going to get to ensure this becomes a happy experience.

Naked Lesbian in a Hot Tub

2010-05-19T21:01:00.005+12:00

I know, a slutty title to drag you in, but trust me, you won't be disappointed.

I have returned from my adventures in Queenstown and as expected I didn't want to leave. I very much enjoyed the lifestyle I was living down there and sulked greatly at the thought of returning to reality, I'm still Not Happy about it. However here are a few holiday snaps for your amusement.

First up the view from the front deck. Sigh.

On Saturday we headed into Queenstown for the first adventure, and handbag quite enjoyed the gondola ride up to it.

On the way up got the first glimpse of the head fuk that was to follow.

After a brief girly tizz to start with (even though I am apparently NOT femme!!) I managed to get over myself and do the deed.

As you can imagine I was feeling Well Pleased with myself after that and ready for the next challenge, which turned out to be drinking. I humbly bow to my hostess and her superior skills in that particular field.

The following day was the flying fox adventure, which seemed somewhat tame in comparison but still fun. It reminded me of playing on the Army confidence courses in my youth. A childhood pastime that is probably banned now along with jungle gyms. Lucky me to be born before playground safety was invented.

The last day saw us jet boating on the Shotover but sadly no images of that as it is quite hard to take a picture when you are hurtling directly into a rock wall, but I do have one taken just before leaving the house. I thought Dolly might like jetboating.

And of course the one you've all been waiting for, though really it's just for Little Drummer Boy so he can see the results of the back work. The hot pools were lovely, just what this girl needed.

So as you can see reality is now frightfully dull after my wonderful long weekend away, and I really can't thank my hostess enough for making this adventure happen. I am forever grateful.

I do of course now have a bucket list..........

Adventure Time

2010-05-12T21:20:00.007+12:00

On Friday I am being whisked off on a Girls Own Adventure weekend in Queenstown via a fortifying pre holiday scoff at Boulcott Street Bistro tomorrow night. I do hope the alcohol free temple that has been my body of late will cope with the lashings of bubbles I would like to consume. I would be mortified if I had to use those little paper bags on the plane.

While I am away I will be doing a range of adventure activities that include jumping off high places with my feet tied to a rubber band. Maybe a spot of jet turbines and water play. At least one "scenic" outdoor run is planned, which I won't be wearing my new pink running shoes for as I'd hate to get them dirty, and lashings and lashings of these. They may not be thermal mineral ones but they are still Hot Pools. It has been too long since my last hot pool.

In between all this frenetic activity I will be slumming it at this shack. (and I have just spent the last hour trying to find some code to embed it with to no avail, so sorry, link only). It is a bit long, but at around the three minute mark you can see one of the showers. I think I will be spending a lot of time in the shower as well. There are three of them. They will all need testing.

I do fear that I may do a Pankhurst and chain myself to the railings and refuse to leave. Must remember to pack an appropriate suffragette outfit. So adieu, I may be gone for some time.

PS: in case you thought I was exaggerating here are my new pink running shoes, highlighting the pretty insoles that I will sadly have to remove to fit orthotics in, and three of my favourite drink coasters for no reason at all other than they live on the coffee table.