Powerful Thoughts

As you go through life one finds that there are times when you need to make changes and hard decisions, and thus look around for information and help. Being the trash media slut that I am I first became aware of this "self help" industry through shows like Oprah, Ricky Lake etc, and we all know that Oprah's personal guru is Deepak Chopra.

After perusing this literature I found that most of it hovers between plain old common sense, and full blown religious spirituality cunningly disguised as finding and unleashing the power of the hidden spirit within. After much research I finally decided that the majority of the people writing this stuff have actually just discovered that they have a brain, and that if they use it to make well thought out positive decisions to change their life, rather than just behaving like a wet dish towel and letting all flow over, then life becomes a bit more interesting and vibrant.

I do admit that at times I am a positive affirmation chanter, along the lines of "Trinny and Suannah WILL return", "Trinny and Susannah WILL return", as just one example. The affirmation chants are usually done when I'm running, it's a rhythmic thing - while counting the beat 2 - 3 - 4 - 5, digressing.

So in light of a few things that have crossed my path lately I decided some positive affirmations were needed again so I started focusing on the dream and doing the chant. Me being me of course there are no half measures and at one point I thought I'd blown a gasket, but then realised it was just a sinus attack.

Well I must say that I am positively astounded at the success of my current wave of positivity, and I'm so inspired that I'm going to immediately apply it to other areas of my life. I have posted a wee picture below to show you how successful I have been.

Astounding!

NZM, read and weep!!

Bitch Slap

While putting in a multi user internet set up in a conference room this morning one of the laptops wouldn't connect. As I was sorting the issue I thought out loud, and said "I'll try another cable in case it's a cable problem". One of the delegates then said "oh, thats very clever of you to think of that". Implying, obviously, that he didn't expect a woman to think that.

I then had to resist the impulse to say to him rather scathingly, "when you've spent years setting up a 48 track recording studio with everything from digital equipment to a full orchestra, your pissy little 7 laptop set up is kindergarten level!" all the while making slapping sounds with my roll of gaffa tape.

And they wonder why more women don't take up trades.

Bliss Overload!

............Duffy, 4 rows from the front, centre block, premium seating.

Could there be a happier Lesbian on the planet!! And only 5 and a half months to wait, but you know how much I love playing the anticipation game...............

I Have Succumbed

........and not to media pressure, or political face slapping from those more motivated than I, but from the incessant nagging and texting of number 1 Daughter. I have now signed the orange piece of paper, put it in the envelope, thrown it in the letter box, and barring any odd disasters on it's way to it's destination I will soon be on the Electoral Roll. I do so hope I have managed to get the timing right and have missed the printing deadline.

This does not mean of course that I am going to vote as the "not going to, can't make me" principle still applies, but one did need to let the younger generation see that political pressure can bear results.

On a completely different note I am in a small haze of unpclesbian bliss, I can't believe it, it's all too much, House and Trinny and Susannah back on tv in the same week - hello sofa!

And as a completely random aside, the new running shoes have the first 10k on the clock, and it was back to throwing weights around last night. I am now the only woman at my gym lifting proper weights, and if the new batch of boys don't learn to get out of my way I may have to accidentally drop something.

More Saturday Night

To the young androgynous girl who started to chat to me on the dance floor very very late at night, you had short dark hair and were wearing a black top and jeans, oh, that's right, half the room was wearing that. You asked how my glass of bubbles was, then at the same time I fell off my shoes, damn girly heels, how do real women do it.

Anyway the bubbles had been fine, what I was allowed. Baby AV techie dyke had decided that I'd had enough (her story) and scoffed it all. However it was only glass number 3, and as you know I'd had to wait over 15 minutes for it while watching bar girl clean the bar surface and not serve customers. Please slap Baby AV techie dyke for me.

And, coooeeee Ms incomplete PhD Emily. If you've managed to remember the URL to get here, and judging by the virulent red colour of your drink that may have been a mission, yes, I lied. This blog is not full of lesbian erotica, but it was a good story at the time.

Big Night Out

Well my darlings, tonight is the night we've been looking forward to for a while, and since I know some of you will check in here before we go I think I need to voice some rules.

If it's after midnight and I start talking about just one little teeny weeny vodka red bull to help me along, the correct answer is NO.

If I start to look longingly at the lovely bottles of Cointreau and other yummy sticky things on the top shelf, please remind me of how ill I have been lately.

If I then try to negotiate vodka or tequila shots using the logic that it's International Lesbians birthday and I'm finally in the right time zone to join the celebrations, stern withering looks are to apply. (don't worry IL, I'll try REAL hard on that one!)

If I start to say, "oh what the hell, sleep is so over rated", I am to be removed immediately.

Otherwise, it's going to be a HUGE HOT night and I plan on spending as much time as possible on the dance floor. Also there is to be a fire poi show at midnight so make sure you are all there by then.........

Random Stats

200 punters on the floor and not one hot Lesbian amongst them. What are the odds of that then?

'Roid Rash

A kind reader has asked about my workouts of late. The reason there have been no gym updates is because there has been no gym. In the last six weeks I have been hammered on and off with the flu and it's infinite variations and residues. As soon as I feel better and manage a few days at work and a gentle run, wham back it hits. I have spent more time off work in September than at work.

I appear to be keeping my Doctors BMW running as well. I find it quite annoying to visit the Doctor and they say "if you're not feeling better by the end of the week come back". So back I duly trot only to be charged full price again. Hello, I paid you on Monday and you didn't fix me, why should I pay again, and again, and again.

I have now been on a long course of antibiotics and a short course of steroids, a week on leave and I'm almost feeling better, though still constantly amazed at how much mucous the human body can produce.

Besides the sudden growth in facial hair, and the odd desire to scratch my balls, I seem to have developed a rash on my right shoulder from the steroids, which of course I am totally bereft about. I have a Big Night Out on Saturday and my new skimpy piece of pink deliciousness to wear so I don't want any nasty looking ick's on my shoulder, and the redness of it clashes with my tattoo. I think I may have to invest in some of those baby mitten things to sleep in.

I of course am just bursting to get back to the gym or go for a run. I have my new running shoes to test out but so far all they get to do is sleep with me at night while I whisper lovingly "not long now, not long". I broached the subject of a workout with friends on Sunday but ended up promising solemnly not to do anything at all until all the medications are finished. I thought they were going to tie me to the chair. (swoon)

Not long now, not long.

The Final Chapter

So now we have the closing chapter on this current segment of the life of NSBG. She has requested a new acronym and all I can think of is her true name so from now she will be Ms Gotlucky.

Saturday evening she departed for Hong Kong and her new adventures with International Lesbian, though of course being Ms Gotlucky leaving couldn't be a smooth and simple exercise. I happened to be in town late that day and thought if I can get a park easily I will run in for a quick goodbye cuddle. As fate would have it there was a park at the front door, fate was needed.

I got up to her apartment at 5.10, knowing full well that the taxi was booked for 6.00. Her parents were there along with others. In the seven years I have known Ms Gotlucky it is the first time I have met her Mother, in that brief meeting so many things became crystal clear. However I digress. My first question was "have you packed?", to which the answer was "No!".

We then moved to the bedroom and attempted the task, and I can honestly say that by 5.35 all four suitcases were fully packed, International Lesbians notice boards all strapped for delivery, and I was busying myself reading the till dockets from the final shopping spree at D'Vice. I must say that is one business that is going to financially notice the departure of Ms Gotlucky from these shores.

I then had to leave to prepare for dinner guests, and left Ms G frantically searching for her flight ticket as she still wasn't 100 % sure of the times. Got home to find International Lesbian on line who agreed with me, why the 4 suitcases when all she really needed was her handbag, passport and of course the notice boards that one just CANNOT buy in Hong Kong.

And just realised, sorry Cactus, forgot to send a new supply of peanut slabs, oh well, maybe they'll share some of the D'Vice booty with you instead.

More Whitewash

A dear reader sent me a link to a poll on a major American lesbian blog where American lesbians have voted for their top 100 women, in the manner of Sports Illustrated et al.

The results of the poll are here. I must say that this just confirms the complete whitewash job being done on Americans and American lesbians if this is who they think are the hottest women of the year. You will see that 94% of them conform to one stereotypical image, and that is slim airbrushed Hollywood starlet. Is this truly what American lesbians want their women to look like?

There are only 4 images that even hint at gender bending, and from those I can now see why they think Ellen de Generes is "butch". They have also included what must be the worst picture ever of Jackie Warner. This woman has a hot body, tho a bit thin for my taste, yet the top 100 has a nasty facial close up.

But, BUT, the most upsetting thing of all is that the most absolutely totally HOTTEST American woman of all, the goddess Jillan Michaels is not on the list at all! Now I know that there are squillions of American lesbians out there who are interested in Jillian because this blog gets hammered by them daily searching to see if she is gay. 

So if you are all so deeply interested in her, why is she not on the list?