Go Figure

As the child turned 18 on the weekend I have had several phone calls with the IRD trying to find out how this affects the WFF tax credit I receive. I call it a tax credit, but really it is more long winded than that. Other countries seem to manage parental tax relief quite simply by taxing at a separate rate. New Zealand however taxes you at the full rate then refunds a portion back to you each week. I guess one could look at it as a form a job creation.

My first phone call at the end of last year gave me answer A, my second phone call two weeks ago gave me answer B. As you can imagine I was a bit confused so I tried again last week and this time got answer C. I very politely, though through gritted teeth, explained that this was the third different answer I'd been given, and before I lost my rag completely could I please speak with a supervisor, or someone who at least has some working knowledge of the policies. I was then transferred to a supervisor.

The supervisor gave me answer A, so I then questioned why I had been given answers B and C. The supervisor then decided she needed to call me back after she had READ THE ACT. Is it just me but surely the people answering these calls should have some knowledge of the acts they are giving information on?

I duly got the call back and answer B was confirmed, which means no more WFF tax credit as the child is not at school or University. I then questioned what was available for a single parent fully supporting an 18 year old who was not in formal education. I was directed to WINZ.

I have now just looked at the WINZ website and see that the child does qualify and probably could get a benefit as she works less than 12 hours a week. The benefit is three times the amount of the WFF tax credit I previously received.

I don't think I really need to say anymore.

R.I.P Jarvis

I am officially over the seagulls. I appear to have been made seagull monitor without consultation.

Last Thursday my swipe card had barely finished going bing on the reader, when I was summoned from two directions. Jarvis was lying on his side and couldn't get up, the entire family was gathered, fretting and unable to help. Seemed it was my role to fix. [memo to self; include in JD] Fortunately by the time I had managed to get the day kicked off, then focus on bird and get rescue number from kind friend, it had disappeared. Today I got an email from the stockbrokers saying the SPCA had called to inform them of the demise of Jarvis due to excessive wing damage. Must have been the first fall. Bugger. They are quite un-co though.

Today I had another seagull rescue email, this time from the librarian. An adult was trapped in the access area to the helipad. I went up to investigate and found a large dumfuk sitting on the window ledge looking out and making futile attempts to fly though the glass. The entire area is open and had it turned round it could have seen and gone up and out, but it wouldn't move from the shelf. I figured it was a male, so went inside and told the librarian that it was exhibiting the basic male identifier of "more balls than brains"  thus it was his seagull to take care of. I only do Mothers.

I'm sure there's more to my life than seagulls. It really can't be this sad.

Advanced Subtle Child Abuse

One evening last week the teenager came home very early from her job. Following this unexpected return home was a flurry of activity, including bathroom activity, as she readied herself to go and stay at the boyfriends for the night.

When I went to the bathroom after she had departed, I saw there was a layer of freshly shaved hair on the bottom of the bath, and no need to say she hadn't been shaving her legs.

Tomorrow I'm off to Auckland for the night and she is having one her friends to stay, a last girly night before her pal goes away again. I have just done my own personal grooming routine, and yes, there is a layer of hair left all over the bottom of the bath.

I'm loving this new level of child abuse.

They Survived

I had to go in to work for a few hours today and was greeted with the news that the babies survived the holidays. The deck however is completely white with seagull poo, but the babies are alive and well.



Aren't they just sooooo cute? And yes I am aware we may need counselling in the future to deal with empty nest syndrome.

Dramatic Rescue

When I got in to the office yesterday the other early starting staff member was fretting badly. Two of the babies had fallen out of the nest and were huddling in a corner, and we were both frustrated at not being able to do anything as we can't reach the balcony from our level.

About an hour later while I was pretending to be the receptionist on level 21 I heard a large amount of screeching and squawking and could see seagulls flying and diving. Five minutes later the following email arrived.

"At some point this earlier this morning, 2 of our short friends from the Seagull’s nest, possibly aided by the Northerly, took an unscheduled flying lesson. The trip ended with them bundled into the corner of the balcony near the window cleaner’s crane gear. Mum and Dad stood watch over their errant children, alarmingly leaving the third chick alone in the nest.

A surprisingly senior looking stockbroker from L12 got one back into the nest but had to retreat from the dive bombing attack that could have ruined his Christmas, not to mention his dry-clean only suit. 10 minutes later, the L12 ornithological society were out again, but this time they were tooled up. The pictures tell the story..."
 
 

 

Needless to say I took them down a bottles of bubbles as thanks for their efforts.

 

We are now all fretting as to how they will survive over the holidays if they fall out of the nest while there is no one to rescue them.

Birth followed by almost Death

We had birth over the weekend. I was there sweating it out all weekend but didn't check, so on Monday morning when we had new babies I was as surprised as the rest of the staff at their arrival and cuteness. I got the first baby photo today.

Jarvis, as I'm told he is called, had a near death experience today. I think the father was baby minding while Mum had her first fly about in weeks. Jarvis fell off the planter box this afternoon! Bad child minder! However, Jarvis spent a mere nanosecond near death on the ground because an office worker from level 12 ran out, braved the squawking screaching Mummy, and scooped Jarvis straight back into the nest.

To be honest, it really is level 12's seagull and not ours, it is their deck. We're only voyeurs.

This is my life?

Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,
I know it feels like you have given me a gorgeous gift already, but just in case you felt like giving me a totally material item here's a wee hint.

Like the other gorgeous gift, they are just so swoonworthy.

Lots of love
un-pc lesbian





Seagull Update

We are now overdue. In the interim Daddy has been so industrious bringing her new bits of flotsam every day that her nest is now twice the size it was last week. Compared to that image she is now sitting on a two storey nest.

It also seems on a windy day it is preferable to have the wind blowing up your arse instead of down your beak.

To be continued.

Yet Another Office Update

I promised Scuba Nurse I would put this up.

One of the year two's got into the office on Monday morning to find that this had happened to his work station.

It does explain the random question I'd received from one of the summer clerks about catering packs of foil. I'm glad I deterred them from raiding the kitchen.

I think the year two quite enjoyed it and didn't want it to be removed as it meant he got to work in a REAL office for the day. One with walls and a door.



It's all go at the office!

Now that the boxes have departed from the floor a new obsession has gripped the staff of level 13. Suddenly the print room staff and a programmer have become ornithologists, albeit highly specialised ornithologists, but if you want to know anything about the life cycle of seagulls, my office is the place to visit.

Let me introduce you to Jillian Livingstone Seagull.

Her partner Jonathon is a highly attentive Daddy, and very efficient about bringing her food and new bits of flotsam for the nest. He is also a highly motivated guard and defender. The entire balcony surround is now white with seagull poo, and if anyone attempts to go on to the balcony he yells at them loudly and attacks. It may be some time before the balcony can be cleaned.

We have confirmation of three eggs, thanks to the programmer and a very old set of binoculars that were an Xmas gift that never made it home. Due date is 12 December.

I do so look forward to getting back to the office next Monday, I'm particularly keen to see feeding time.