Monday, May 28, 2007

Fashion Crime

I have committed a fashion crime, and being the giving person that I am, I am willing to admit it. Not only is it a fashion crime, but it is almost a heinous fashion crime.

It is a fashion crime for many reasons as follows:

1: it was purchased from one of the child's favourite stores, that nasty Australian one starting with "S" that no one can pronounce properly. Does it end in eeeee, or ay, or just a grunt. As Trinny and Susannah will tell you, mothers should NOT be purchasing clothing at teenagers stores.

2: it is made from synthetic fabric. I do concede that all chiffon these days is predominantly synthetic as no one can afford true silk chiffon anymore (Mrs Smith excluded), but I did find the need to grease my arms with a good quality moisturiser to stop it clinging with static. The body of the garment is saved as it is lined.

3:the part that almost makes it is a smock! I confess that along with bell bottoms and platform soles I NEVER thought smocks would return, but lordy me here they are again.

You may wonder since the garment is such a crime why did I buy it, well it looks truly lovely on, and I had to go out that night and had nothing to wear. It's such a lovely little number, all floaty and with frilly bits in all the places I like frilly bits to be, and a beautiful deep scooped neckline which hints at a cleavage that isn't there. I have just had a look at the stores website and found that it is in fact a dress!!

I now have a new dilemma as of course NONE of my jackets go perfectly with the new top. I have a vision in my mind of the perfect little shaped velvet (cut cord at a pinch) jacket to complete the look and I know I'm just not going to rest till I find it.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Poor old Isabella

I have only in the last few days discovered that Isabella Blow died last week, and was buried on Tuesday. Very fittingly the casket bore a hat by Philip Treacy, but I do wonder what they clothed her in? Judging by the very interesting wikipedia article I imagine it won't be Alexander McQueen.

Though all death is very sad, for someone like myself who just devours biographies, diaries and collected letters I imagine there will soon be some new literature on her life to read, and just the links from the above article are enough to keep me interested for a while.

R.I P. to another quirky interesting woman who contributed in her own way to the fashion and style we have today.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Boredom AAA++

I am currently in a wee lull at the moment so have been spending the time very productively editing a database. This as you know is a fairly dull task so while one side of the brain is going "save/delete" the other is able to concentrate on more interesting things, though quite possibly equally as useless and boring. My reward for another hour completed is a quick scan down my blog list to see if anyone has anything new, so those of you with site stats...Yes it's me clicking through several times a day.

One thing I've been pondering is that favourite blogger Cactus Kate often makes reference to Helen Clark's coterie of lesbians surrounding her in Parliament, which set me thinking about lesbians in our capital city. When I first arrived in this city a few years ago I thought the place was just heaving with lesbians as I kept seeing all these rather mannish creatures everywhere in bad suits and with short haircuts. After a few attempts at socialising in the "scene" I soon realised that this was not the case and it was in fact a completely separate sub genre altogether. I of course have named them and they are Spinsters With Awfully Bad Haircuts.
Oooh spinster, now isn't that an interesting emotionally laden word, and funny how bachelor doesn't quite have the same response. Picture Justin Timberlake and the word bachelor, it fits, now picture Cameron Diaz and the word spinster, doesn't quite gel. However the emotion of language is not the point of this blog. Back to the SWABH's.
I don't understand, why do they do it? If they have no interest in sex, I can understand, likewise no interest in men, can understand, scared to face up to sexuality issues again understand, but none of these are reasons to wear such awful suits and have such nasty haircuts. I myself have gone through several periods of self decided celibacy, once in my early 20's for a couple of years, and again more recently, but never NEVER have I let that be a reason to be badly dressed or coiffed. I may not have been interested in sex with either gender but goodness me I'll make damn sure I'm still well turned out and pleasing on the eye of any who wish to ogle.
I guess these women have deep psychological issues and think they are dealing with it by appearing unattractive to all. Too scared to even open the closet door and see whats inside let alone step in and out of it. Employment wise they also tend to be someone seniors closest assistant, and thereby satisfy emotional needs by being totally indispensable to someone. "It doesn't matter what I look like, my boss couldn't cope without me" . This may be so sisters, but it's still not an excuse to look so bad.
Trinny and Susannah where are you?

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Weddings....Bah Humbug

There is a large wedding expo on in the city this weekend where all the desperate and tragic wanna be brides and their mothers can trawl through the large amount of product and services on display in a futile attempt to glean some inspiration that they can then try and reproduce disastrously at their local hockey rooms.

We have a display stand there, an extremely large and beautiful one it is, and of course vastly superior to any of the others. After the set up I don't usually work these events as operations is my forte, but as expected the sales department has come grovelling....BIG grovelling, so of course I will be there.

I am most displeased about having to work this show for two reasons. One being that the hours involved (16.30 to 20.30 on a Saturday evening) are some of my most pleasurable hours of the week. This is of course drinks and pottering in the kitchen time. Sometimes drinks time takes command but always magically a fabulous gourmet meal is created even though I'm unaware of doing it. The other reason it displeases me is that I have to be NICE to people.

As you all know when the masses descend on an expo all they are after is free stuff. Well ha ha to them because I'm giving away diddly shit this year, and if they want to take advantage of my competition they have to book a wedding to do so. I'm so looking forward to seeing all the crestfallen faces when they realise that not only is there no fudge to run off with, but also NO chance of a free hotel night either. You people know who you are, funny how we see your faces every year, I mean how many times are you going to get married?

Another thing I will find amusing this year is the faces of the males in attendance. What a bunch of hen pecked, thumb printed wusses they will be, because even I know that there is a rugby game on that night, and I DON'T DO BALL sports. Any male who goes to the expo this Saturday night may as well hand in their balls now.

I am presently practising hard how to be civil and polite and to not verbalise the bleeding obvious. I have a list of things I am not going to say:

"Don't do it, take the money and run"
"You can chat to me all you want but it's quite obvious that you can not afford me"
"I only do weddings for people with style"
"You want to marry THAT!"
"I would suggest you stop sampling the pies"
"and is Mum coming on the honeymoon too?"

Yet again, I'm sure I'm going to offend someone on the night.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Lesbian Heaven?

Now isn't this just every Lesbians dream tree! No need for those expensive bits of silicon from D'Vice.

I have a great urge to source some seeds and send them off to the anti-penetration league.

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