Sunday, December 27, 2009

Tricky Questions

I had to do the Wellington to Napier drive today with the two teenagers in situ. This drive normally takes about 4 hours, today it took over 6 as for some reason Transit NZ has closed all the north bound passing lanes between Wellington and Otaki, and there lies first tricky question. Why?

The Mother said she thought it was to try and slow traffic to help road safety, but all it seemed to do was make some people aggresive and we saw some nasty impatient driver actions.

Along the way we had the iPod on shuffle and enjoyed a few Wayne's World sing along moments (sans head whipping) with an eclectic selection of tunes, ranging from Bob Marley, to Morcheeba, and even the odd old classic.

Then came a few hard to answer questions like:

"Mum, why is Aunty Cxxxx all strange and religious and not normal like you?", and "why has she got a funny haircut and wears yuk glasses?"

I was stumped at that lot, resisted the urge to say "you told me I wasn't normal last night", and used the universal answer of 'because', yet all the while thinking why?

It seems that being a devout christian has similarities to being a lesbian in that it gives you license to have no fashion sense and wear horrendous clothes. Why?

Thursday, December 24, 2009

New Calendar

Amongst the corporate gifts I've recieved this year has been the usual collection of calendars. Sadly the calendar below was not one of them. I would very much like one of these on my office wall.

You can see the whole thing here. I'm torn between June, July and October.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Sleep Text

It is 10.12pm here and I have just received a text from the child who is upstairs. The text reads "I need bus money for tomorrow Mum. Please find some. I'm asleep."

Other parents have children that sleep walk, I apparently have one that sleep texts. I can see it now, one of those in depth expose tv programmes of the future "I abused my boss by text when I was asleep." or maybe the cover of this piece of trash. I wish the child would clean it's room while it's asleep, far more useful activity.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

T'is the Season

Yesterday while I was doing my weekend wander round my 'hood, and getting my coffee fix, I came across an unusual festive scene.

There was a new busker playing at one of the prime busking spots. He caught my eye as even though he was just playing guitar, he had a proper music stand with sheet music on it. At first he just looked like your average scruffy busker, but when I looked properly I  could see he was wearing a clerical collar with his flannel shirt and cut off jeans. My ears then registered that he was singing Christmas carols. Run!

He must be good though and have a magic touch, as the dossers who normally frequent that corner were all standing up and waving their hands in the air, still clutching their recycled cigarette butts. A Christmas rave?

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Small Incestuous World

I often comment on the small incestuous nature of the gay community that we live in, and tonight was a perfect example.

A good chum visited this evening to catch up on news, aka gossip over a bottle of bubbles. She said that she had just recently caught up on reading this blog, and that she knows a blogger who has recently commented here, and to whom I have subsequently linked, Ms nzalien.

My guest this evening has appeared a couple of times in my blog, here, and here. There are other appearances but one doesn't want to give too much away. However, nzalien, it turns out I know your sister. I first met her through work as I managed a conference for her, and then met her and her partner (who should never be encouraged to sing) at a dinner party.

So Jody, even though you have left this country for the wide wide world, this small incestuous community is still following you around, as they say - you can run but you can not hide!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Bunny Attack

I'm going to get this one up before Laughykate does, AwkwardFamilyPhotos never fails to amuse.

One can't help but wonder why? And who was he hoping to attract by wearing this oufit?

Sunday, December 13, 2009

21st Century Advertising

I know this type of marketing had to happen, but why do both women have to be the epitome of the Hollywood concept of "beautiful" women? I guess the makers of this thought they were being all cutting edgy, but to me it's just a big fat fail. Where's the hot butch in a suit?

It comes across as some male "creative's" stereotypical idea of a lesbian wedding, the women aren't real, and somehow seems to have debased the original idea that they were trying to be revolutionary about.

Or am I just having an bad hair day?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Further Research

As all you regular readers know I find the concept of gender blurring and manipulation very interesting, and in some cases very appealing. 21st century technology means that women can now go beyond the basic options of androgynous and butch to taking testosterone and starting on the transition journey. It seems that this process can be fairly easily accessed, and in one case all too easily accessed, but that is a whole other story.

In past posts I have linked to various transboi sites, and also blogged on which of the trans options I would find most sexually desirable. So lucky me when the opportunity to test this out came my way.

What is a girl to do when cute young rough trade toy boi starts making his moves? Say "No, no, please don't charm me, woo me, or attempt to seduce me". I Don't Think So!

So all in the name research of course I had to find if my previous assumptions were correct. They were. I think however I may need to revisit this research some time, just to triple check my findings. I'd hate to be providing inaccurate data.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Small Things

It appears that small things keep me very happy. When I arrived at the office this morning two large boxes addressed to me had been delivered overnight. It took about 7.5 seconds for it to dawn on me what was in them, and when that happened I did the little dance of happiness.

I then started on my morning rounds bristling with pleasure and excitement. When I reached reception I was just bursting, and cheerfully exclaimed to the receptionist, "I'm so excited, guess  what arrived for me today." My enthusiasm was obviously infectious and she excitedly asked what had arrived. "Two brand new data projectors", I gushed at her. She gave me a very blank look in return. "They're wireless!" I said. The blank look I swear turned to one of pity. Well I was happy.

The two boxes have sat in pride of place at the entrance to my office all day, so that anyone who enters has to navigate them and be introduced to them. Finally some smart arse asked why I hadn't opened them yet. I would have thought the answer to that was obvious. I have been incredibly busy, and when I do open them I want to be able to fully savour the moment. I want to gently caress their little knobs, and read their little booklets, bask in the pleasure of my new gadgets.

I also admit that I found myself fondling the usb turntables in Duck Smuffs when I went to purchase the children's phone cards this morning. I did however resist the impulse to play with my vibrating remote mouse on my return, as that would have been just plain naughty.
Empty Nest. Design by Exotic Mommie. Illustraion By DaPino