Sunday, August 29, 2010

Dead Animal

I am currently reading this book on the recommendation of nzalien. This afternoon I've finished the meat and potatoes chapter and guess what I'm having for dinner.....scotch fillet, rosti, buttered spinach and mushrooms. nom

Dinner was planned before I read the chapter, honest!

Fetish Ball

Flogging, tick, done!

Please tell  me I don't have to go out again before Xmas.

Thursday, August 26, 2010


In the last couple of days life has thrown me one of those curve balls.

Or to quote the words of Neneh Cherry:

 that goddam bitch called life has made me cry
I think I'll poke her squarely in the eye.

Over the last few days I've been dealing with some emotions that I prefer to not have in my life, so to get them out of my head I am going to vent them on others more deserving, so...

ANZ Credit Cards: You dumb fukkers. I changed my address by secure mail on 29 June, I have just checked, so why do your records not have this showing until 27 July? That is why I have received no statements, nor the new credit card you sent me that you now have to cancel. I have been to my old house, which is still empty (yay, divine retribution for the landlords being so parsimonious about lightbulbs) and there is no mail there. Which leads me on to.....

NZ Post: Why the fuk have I paid to have my mail redirected when you can't seem to do it? Do I get a credit for every item not received? Will the sale of goods act or fair trading apply to your slack service?

Ooooh, and while I'm on a roll, IRD, you fukkers gave me a timeline of 25 August to have a response to my application for a reassessment, still waiting.

I am going to the Fetish Ball on Saturday, and while I may not have sorted life by then, hopefully it will put me in a better frame of mind and normal chirpier transmission will return.

Monday, August 23, 2010


At the moment I am suffering from some constant allergy/sinus issue, and everyday as soon as I walk outdoors I start weeping and snivelling. I currently have a wee red rash on my face as well which of course is very sexy. This proves, as I somewhat expected, that both the type 1 and type 2 antihistamines I currently take are working brilliantly.

As the weeping makes my make up run, leaving lovely black streaks, I occasionally venture outdoors sans maquillage to avoid this unkempt look. Today I went for a run at the gym in this state.

As I was sorting my bits and getting ready to run, Little Drummer Boy arrived and said hello. I was holding the menopause fan, as I has been moving it to place by my treadmill, when vanity kicked in and I attempted to hold the entire conversation with him with the fan held in front of my face.

Much later on when I was stretching I realised that girl logic had kicked in as well, as I didn't want LDB to the naked face and sinus eyes, but it was TOTALLY ok for him to see the red faced sweaty mess bouncing around on the treadmill. Go figure?

Girl logic rocks!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

When I Grow Up

While I was preparing dinner this evening I recalled one of those "where do you think you will be in twenty years" conversations you sometimes end up having over the dinner table. It came to mind as I sliced the avocado open.

You are guaranteed, if it's a table full of lesbians, that one will say that they will be the crazy cat lady at the end of the street. I have come to realise in the last few years what my calling in that direction will be.

I will be the crazy avocado lady. I have had the odd uncontrollable practice moment at the supermarket in the last few years and I see now, as PMT becomes a memory, that I will be able do it out of sheer bloody mindedness when I'm a true senile Nana. I will hover by the avocado stands and scream loudly when anyone commits the sin, "Don't Squeeze the Avocados". Every culprit will be forced to purchase the avocado that they have squeezed, and if I have lucked in and become senile lotto winning Nana I'll install video camera's.

My reasons for doing this? Below is a prime example of what happens when you "gently" squeeze an avocado to see if it's ripe, a collection of fingertip bruises and one inedible avocado, so "Don't Squeeze the Avocados!" 

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Life on the Edge

While I was out having a drink with a couple of friends last night before we went on the fabbo show, the topic of conversation moved to the exciting things we had done the night before, Friday night.

Below is a photo of what one of my friends had done for their Friday night entertainment.

Funnily for some reason the words pillow princess spring to mind!

I then started on the scintillating story of what I had done on my Friday night and proceeded to describe in great detail how I had spent my time on this site, and here trying to find if it's the svchost.exe file or the wuauclt.exe file that is giving me grief. My research is telling me to delete the C:\WINDOWS\SoftwareDistribution\DataStore directory file, but I'm dithering.

I then woke my pals up and we went off to the show and had a grand night.

So You can see from the threads I'm reading that it's a fairly recent issue that is annoying the fuck out of people. Make it go away!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Another one for Little Drummer Boy

Weekend Workouts.

Even though I was awake in plenty of time to make it to the 10am circuit class, the thought of working out before I'd had coffee made my body cringe, so afternoon run 10.5k. ( and yay, wheelchair boy came and worked out in front of me)

An all over session.
10 minutes bike as there is a new supply of trash magazines.
Lat pull downs 37.5k
Back fly things, (don't know proper name, done lying on tummy on a bench) 5kg
Kneeling Row 14kg
Pec deck 32.5kg
Single arm preacher curls 14kg
Seated bicep curls with twist 7kg
Arnies 5kg. Still only doing really low weights with shoulders, whimper. Want Shoulders!
Swiss ball skull crushers 17.5kg
Another 10 minutes bike to finish the trash magazine I'd started earlier.

And now it's beer o'clock.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

My Life in Haircuts

While I was looking for a particular photo last week (one of myself and my first car) I came across a vast collection of old images of myself and the ever changing haircuts. I have scanned a selection of them, so here you are readers, my life in haircuts.

This first one is from the start of my working  life at some work party. This was the days before fancy straighteners and curling wands so to get that look you had to plait your hair when wet into a myriad of small plaits, wait for it to dry, endure a day of frizz so that on the second day you got the gentle wave effect. Also note the micro thin eyebrows, possibly only one hair wide.

The hair gradually got shorter. I had asked my hairdresser to cut it all off but he wouldn't so he gave me a compromise cut instead. This was the hair cut that ended up on the catwalk.

Next a new city, and a new do, well on the way to getting it as short as I wanted.

This one is from the full andro and celibacy years. I see I have make up on so that probably means a certain drummers girlfriend had been visiting, my only femme crush, EVER!

Now the Bowie meets Keith Richards look. I used to have random miniature plaits in odd places. This is one of my favourites. This is also before "product" was invented so you can see why I use it now to keep my hair down, not up.

Moving on to the finely cut mullet with christmas cracker toys hanging from my ears.

Followed by a full 80's pom pom taken just before I moved to London.

And ending this section with the post London have to grow it out because the hairdresser melted sections of it from over bleaching. This was also the start of the I'm sure I can conform and do this heterosexual thing phase of my life

There are many many more, the blonde short and long, a red bob, plus another brief phase of long and, shock horror, natural colour, but this little collection is enough for now.

Sunday, August 1, 2010


I've just been to the gym to do a weights workout and give the body a big shock in preparation for lasagne eating. As I was leaving my eye caught the notices on the wall, one was asking for expressions of interest in a circuit class (I LOVE circuit) on Saturday mornings.

Guess who's name was at the top of the list - Little Drummer Boy!!!

LDB, you are soooooo sprung. You know it will be unbelievably rude to not say hello next time our training paths cross!
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