Not So Rich

I'm linking to this story because A, Cactus told me to, and B,it's a bloody good read.

Some silly boy is trying to take on our leader the Whale. Off you go and have a chuckle.

I've Been Ever So Butch.

Now that summer has suddenly arrived my deck has been calling to me loudly, telling me to move out there for the season. Yesterday I thought sod the fukkin tax department, who yet again have NOT got back to me even though they promised, so I went and spent this months tax bill money on some deck furniture. The furniture required some construction, hence a small moment of butchness. 

Without too much stress I managed to construct the furniture, and I did it while wearing a skirt so I guess one clould say I was technically being futch. Anyway, below is my new furniture, no need to guess what famous store it came from.



I have already been mocked today over my butchness in putting this together, so before anyone asks, YES, this did require the use of a tool to construct. It came supplied with said tool. The 'instructions' also implied that a rod needed to be inserted in the 'tool' to assist with tightening the final bolt, yet no rod was supplied. Sadly a steel chopstick died in the process of putting the table together.

I only like plastic chopsticks anyway!



Boxes Boxes Everywhere

Sadly I have been too busy to make the forts I referred to below, but I have managed to get an image of one small section of the boxes.

They are being picked up tomorrow to go to storage.

Some more boxes were delivered yesterday, and as I was so short of space I have had to store them in my office. These ones are NOT going to storage and I don't intend to share them with anyone.

I may be gone for some time.

Across the road from the office this morning

not a lot more I can say really.



I know I shouldn't....

.......but I don't know if I'll be able to resist.

We had 300 archive boxes of evidence delivered  today. They are stacked in long lines and towers down the hallway and every available space on my floor so they can be barcoded and indexed, then sent off for proper storage.

All day, all I have wanted to do is pinch the sheets and duvet from the sick bay and make forts. I may not be able to resist tomorrow.

Awwww, Bless

Number one daughter has gone back to the sperm donors for the summer to work and save money for her second year. She has managed to get a job which she says is "climbing up trees and counting apples." As I figure a ladder will be involved I am not fretting, but I am laughing madly at the 7.30am start. 

We are back to text and email communication, and I have had a couple of classics in the last two days. Firstly a text I received yesterday, "my life is so boring, I am loving it." And then an email I received:

You like that dumb "awkward family photos" website... these are real ones that have come up on my faceboowall in the last week.

I know some weird people.

I'm just glad you're not crazy like these families.

Love you bye
 
Here is one of the pictures.

I do look forward to more of her correspondence over summer.

No Smoking #2

I have had another no smoking experience. Over the last couple of weeks I have been doing a series of office moves at the coalface. Usually I don't move the computers and just reimage them so they are all clean and tidy for the new user, however due to chinese wall information barriers it has been easier to move the hardware in this project.

I completed the final move on Thursday. I had been dithering over this one as it involved me moving from an office with a stunning view, to one with only an averagely good view. The fact that 3 people now take up the space that was previously occupied by just moi is irrelevant.

When I fired up my computer after moving it the screen lost image after a few seconds. I changed the dongle which is the usual culprit but still no image, THEN, suddenly, a little puff of fine smoke came out of the fan and the fan started whirring away very loudly. I quickly forced it to shut down.

As I have been naughty and stored some data and files on the local drive, I immediately rang my main IT girl in the Auckland office and told her what had happened. She laughed hysterically and then proceeded to YELL it out to the entire IT department that I had made my computer produce smoke. I take it from the roars of laughter I could hear down the phone that this was the most amusing thing they had heard all week. Whimper, their chortling was not helping me retrieve files.

I then decided to live dangerously and pushed the on switch again, and what do you know, it started up and decided to play nicely. I have now saved and refiled all the data I was fretting about, and intend to keep using the machine until it totally fries itself. That will be most amusing.

I wish my diamond drama had the same happy ending. I found this morning that I have lost the diamond out of my left lobe in the last 24 hours. On top of the ring I lost earlier this year that means about half a carat of diamonds and attached gold work that I have donated to the universe. Whimper. Obviously was not meant to be.

New Boy

Dear New Big Boy at the Gym,

Around the wall and on the mirrors at the gym there are two signs. One says "do NOT drop weights on the floor", and the other one says "please put the weights away after use." I assume you can't read.

If you had looked at what the other people were doing instead of checking what I was doing, (yes yes, I know I AM the only woman doing weights there, get used to it) you would have seen that Nice Big Boy put his weights away immediately after use, and Irritating Boy who was using all the equipment and weights I wanted put his away after use. Everyone except you put their weights away after using them.

I realise this was possibly your first night there, so I worked around it, however if it happens again you can guarantee I'll be TELLING ON YOU!

Unpclesbian

PS. Could you also do something about those shredded stubbies you were wearing. I really don't wish to catch a glimpse of your dangly bits while you're bench pressing a weight that is obviously too big for you.

Torn

I purchased a gorgeous purple Charlie Brown tunic dress on the weekend at the new designer recycle Red Cross store in my 'hood. It has lovely ruffly bits at the bottom of the sleeves and hem. It is also Quite Close Fitting.

I tried it on with leggings, heels and my stretch 'n' grow underneath to smooth out the lumpy bits. I then asked the child for her opinon. She said it looked good, it made me look slim and that I could wear it in public.

I am now torn. Is what she said true, or is it child revenge?

Hot?

Today I was called to help a client who was having issues connecting to the wireless network in one of the meeting rooms. I went in and did my thing, gave the airport settings a bit of loving, and got him connected.

When I left the room my receptionist, who is a similar age to I, came running up to me and whispered in my ear, "isn't he hot, he is just gorgeous."

I then had to confess that I hadn't really looked at him, or even noted his looks as I was too busy intimately fondling his lovely shiny Mac, and stopping the drool escaping from my mouth. I am so easily pleased.

I'm Back

I've just had a quick trip to Auckland which included a bit of a Big Night Out.

I managed 5 bars that night, and along the way I was given a ticket to the Auckland Fetish Ball, so I spent a bit of time in there as well. I must say that even though I thought the Wellington one was very tame, it beat the Auckland one hands down. The night included the obligatory muscle displays to prove a point, model walking down Gay rd, stiletto heel running to prove another point and finally lashings of hot sweaty half naked gay boys to finish up with. The evidence is over on facebook.

As I didn't have a hangover the next day I walked over the gully and played pool with a new friend. She is a very sharp pool player, possibly even betterer than the ex. I did laugh when she asked after an hour if I wanted to carry on as she was concerned I may be  bored from losing all the time. I had to explain that losing is the normal for me, and playing pool is not about the game but about drinking beer and chatting.

Monday was a lazy chill out day with lashings of coffee time with the worlds best dog.

He seemed very tired on the walk home and slept and snored for hours after we got back, so I left him at home when I went for a run. Apparently that was the wrong thing to do as I had a very miffed dog by my side for the rest of the day, glued in case I went out the door again. I was also a bit slow on the uptake when he decided he needed a cuddle, so he used stand over tactics. That is, he climbed on the sofa and stood over me with his face close to mine until I applied appropriate cuddles. Bad Aunty!

Tuesday was back to work, back to life, back to reality. sigh