Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The one about k d lang

It was the k d lang concert last night, finally. Gosh didn't those months between ticket sales and the show just fly by. We duly went to our almost front row seats, and I instantly regretted not paying the extra $60 for the centre block seats, still side front didn't detract from the show.

The show was in the concert hall at the Michael Fowler centre, and I just love that venue, it's intimate and acoustically brilliant, I'd go and listen to anything there. Likewise k d lang's voice. I'm really only familiar with three of her tunes (well two of hers, and one of Mr Orbison's) but always go to her shows to hear and feel the voice, and as usual last night she shone.

She started with two tracks from the new album, and the mix was a bit dodgy, but then I'm very biased as the last time I saw her she played with the Symphonia and it was perfection from the first note. However, last night after a few terse hand signals and a word to the sound boy all was fixed and her vocals came out and sat on top of the mix. Then the she did what she does and had the audience transfixed for the rest of the night.

For me the highlights were Neil Young's "Helpless", and her rendition of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" was spellbinding. Sadly she didn't sing "Crying" so we left feeling slightly unsatisfied.

Now since this was a k d lang show, there of course was a second part to the evening that needs commenting on, and that is the audience. My goodness, it seems like every Lesbian in the lower North Island had hit town and lordy me they all go to the same clothes shop and hairdresser. The venue of course was heaving with lesbians and we didn't realise that this was such a BIG night out that you were supposed to wear your BEST clothes.

My girlfriend and I had a few chuckles at the fact that even though it was a room full of lesbians she still stood out, as she was the only one wearing a cap (her BEST going out cap) and cargoes. (she was also asked as she was exiting the ladies if she was in the right bathroom!! A bit incongruous in light of the show that was on!). I was dressed in my usual concert going rock chick outfit and apart from the legalettes in their gorgeous designer clothes the rest of the audience were in the "lesbian going out uniform".

Your basic lesbian going out uniform consists of jeans, black t shirt and a leather jacket, this morphs slightly for posh events to smart pants, fitted shirt and shaped fitted leather jacket. I ran into a woman I went to school with and felt I was talking with someones Grandmother, she is the same age as me, and dressed and looked like a Nana. I needed immediate reassurance that I did not look like that, and another glass of bubbles to cope. Everyone was DULL DULL DULL. Why can't they make more effort, even the star of the show had some fancy clothes on.

The next issue is the hair. Short, grey, functional, no style, no panache. Why would any woman want their hair to look like that, they should have worn caps. Likewise, it's NOT A SIN to use product. Product is your friend, use it. You are not going to save the environment by not using product. The world will not end if you spend a few minutes on your appearance, your friends and workmates may thank you for it.

At one point during the show my girlfriend commented that there would be a few sets of slimy knickers around, but as I pointed out since most of the audience appeared to be post menopausal (legalettes NOT included) I doubted it would be much of a problem. Now I'm thinking, is that the power that Ms lang has, to induce lubrication where all has failed.

I will leave you on the damp musing.


Anonymous said...

would love to see your outfit with your girlfriend..just for the record.

Kitten Power said...

I CAN'T believe the bathroom comment - at a KD LANG show! Good lord. So much for the supposed meaning of the term "kd lang fan" I can't wait for some of the comments the boys get in the bathrooms at Elton.

Also - the comment above this - I hope that is someone genuinely interested in your outfits and not some dirty minded lesbian clothes fantasiser. Come clean anonymous!

unPC lesbian said...

Sorry anonymous, no photo...but picture tight jeans, sheer red chiffon "Moulin Rouge" shirt with full full cleavage, and ribbons and frills down the front......

Girlfriend in just home from work and fuk it's cold normal androgyney.

otter said...

I am also bothered by the lack of effort many lesbians put into their appearance. I don't think make-up is required (although my GF and I are both wearers of it), but good lord, a little effort on the rest of the package would be nice. Just because women tend to be more realistic in what we expect a woman to look like, do we really need to lower our standards on general appearance?

unPC lesbian said...

Absolutely Otter. And then you get the other side of the equation, and the so called "Lipstick Lesbians"....where the hard core have turned that into a term of derision, simply because these women like nice feminine clothes.

As I've said in posts before on this issue, why do so many lesbians think that because you shag women it's an excuse to stop caring about your appearance.

Cactus Kate said...

Unpc - you told me when I saw you that the going out t-shirts were WHITE.

I suspiciously think there is no such thing as a going out uniform and lesbians all over the country are collaborating to confuse the sexuality of every piece of cool moderately priced piece of clothing available in stores.

Alert me when the lesbian incomes finally match that of their gay male counterparts and they discover designer jeans and shoes.

unPC lesbian said...

Whoops, white summer, black winter!!

You have liked the legalettes range of clothing and the Robert Clergerie shoes in particular....so yes there is one tinytiny subset that do equal the income of the gay boys.

Mrs Smith said...

Damp musing. My favourite.

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