More Evidence

More evidence that:

• A: Tequila is bad, Bad, BAD, and
• B: One can never trust friends with fancy cameras and phones no matter how close they are

Idle Chatter

I was having coffee yesterday with an old friend and she told me a funny story about the stock on her wee holding.

She'd been very good about selling her lambs and sending them off to slaughter but hadn't been able to bring herself to part with the older sheep. Finally she realised that she needed to do something about them, as her property was rapidly turning into a retirement home for geriatric sheep, so she made the appropriate arrangements.

As she had closely bonded with all the aged ones, she had to organise the transporter to pick them up pre dawn as she couldn't bear to look them in the eye as they were loaded on. She ended up selling about 100 animals and was very surprised at the good return she got on them.

During her visit in the city she spent some of the proceeds, as all good women do, on clothes and shoes, lots of clothes and shoes. She found the experience so pleasurable that she said as soon as she got back home she was going to check all her remaining stock to see who she could sell off next.

This sounds like an excellent plan to me, but sadly I think the proceeds from selling the child may not be quite as lucrative as that of an old woolly lice catcher.

Sounds of Silence

Hello dark line my old friend
I've come to commune with you again
Because the physio softly speaking
Said you'd help the shoulder and stop me weeping
But the sonics that are planted in my brain
They still remain
The sounds.....of silence

Translation....the physio had said that swimming would help my annoying shoulder problem, and as I had been tossing round the idea of doing the swim and run section of a tri, I thought I should attempt a bit of a paddle. So Sunday afternoon I trotted off to the pool for my first swim in nearly 4 years.

I did 1.5k before my arm and shoulder started to hurt, but I was amazed at how easy it was to get back in the rhythm. Fully warmed up at the 600 metre mark then up, down, up, down for another 1k, I'd forgotten how relaxing I find swimming, I used to refer to it as my yoga.

There was only one tiny wee problem, and that is - I've gotten so used to doing cardio with my music plugged in (forever grateful Cactus) that I missed my tunes as I was splashing my way around. I'm now perusing the web to find an underwater iPod, along with checking to see if there are any new products at another favourite store.

When I was playing pool later in the day I did however recall the downside of swimming and that is residual water in the ears. However, as I playing with the old fulla's at the local, the sight of me bashing my head regularly to try and release the water didn't unnerve them at all, as I just fitted in with all the other tics and odd body movements displayed by some of the other oddball regulars.

Which leads me to another issue and that I am about to ring and complain about the bar staff at the local. Atilla the Barmaid and Mike the Pom no longer work there, and at one point my pool date and I did not feel safe. The bar staff had let two punters get intoxicated, then when they challenged us to pool there was no staff member around seeing that we were ok, just the old fulla's keeping an eye on things. Not Good Enough.

Want - Not Want

What I want to be doing? Relaxing with my friends and taking in the Cuba Street Carnival and Fringe events while consuming lashings of beer.

What I am doing? After anally tying the 126 pink chair sashes I am waiting for this weekends bride to turn up, and at the same time returning all the till screens to a usable state after the software upgrade on Thursday, which the suppliers assured me "would not change a thing".

Lesson to self, reduce gullibility pill intake prior to software upgrades and replace with a healthy dose of scepticism.

Will Vanity Prevail?

I can't help wondering with the current wave of action sweeping Facebook, MySpace et al; urging folk to black out their profile images in an oh so modern 21st century form of protest against a proposed law change. Who is going to be the first to crumple and put their smiling gob back up for all to gaze upon?

Stop the Voices

I keep hearing this voice in the back of my head and it's driving me insane with it's constant nagging.

Half marathon it keeps saying....half marathon. Please make it go away! ....or send me a proper training programme......

Random Stats

With the help of a very large magnifying glass I have just managed to read the race results in yesterdays paper.

I came 1812 out of a field of approx 9000, which is far better than the middle of the pack where I thought I was. My companion came in at 2344 which is well in front of half the pack and totally surpasses my expectations for her, I'm impressed. She did say though that she could turn it on when needed to.

At our lovely little after match function we all started throwing round the idea of the coast to coast, chortle chortle, though I do think we are seriously going to consider the Kapiti tri. I'm hoping my race companion will do the bike section and I will do the swim and run.

Impatient Moi?

It's now 2 and 3/4 hours since I finished the run, including running home as I couldn't locate my running buddy.

Why are the results not up on the website yet?? The child is very keen to know Mummy's time.

Shock

I am in shock. Why? Because last night the child did homework! This is the first ever documented occurrence of said child doing any form of homework, at home (as it's usually done at school during another class) and without any prompting.

I texted number one daughter (dux candidate) to tell her that the sister was doing homework and her response was "WOAH, this early in the year.......Why? I'm not."

I wish I'd taken a photo of the historic moment as I fear it may be a one off.

Training?

I have just been over the road to pick up my race pack and number for the run on Sunday. The race pack contains lots of lovely little informative things, a couple of nibbles and, most oddly, a copy of a Womans Day magazine that is almost a month out of date. Why?

This is the first time I have done one of these runs, I guess it's one of those post half century milestones but somehow it doesn't have the same ring to it as "oh, I'm doing a tri this weekend." Fortunately the training for it hasn't been too taxing, however I am going out with Cactus and Ms Gotlucky amongst others tonight so I guess that counts as training my liver. Every little bit helps.

My running companion has said that it is ok if I leave her behind and just meet her at the end, but I would feel too cruel dong that, will see on the day. I guess since I will be surrounded by masses of other "runners" that I probably shouldn't sing along with my tunes as I'm known to do on a road run.

I am looking forward to the after match function.

Spot the Wally

Yes, that's right, it's me.

I was offered comp tickets yesterday to the games but turned them down as I was too busy and didn't have time to ring round clients to see who wanted them, and of course it's a well known fact that I don't do ball sports.

To my foreign readers the tickets to these games have been sold out for months, and also sold out within days of being released.

I have been severely chastised by the child as of course she would have loved to go with a friend, so I am now doing all I can to find some more. The manager of the French team is always overly friendly so I'm off now to bonjour and flutter my eyelids at him in an attempt to secure some tickets.

Whiffy

The downside of having lots of muscly young men wandering around the place it that one soon realises that other cultures have a different attitude to body odour.

I always have a can of Lynx on hand for my male staff and I am brutal in enforcing the use of it. I am now about to spray the entire contents of that can all around the conference floor.

I pity the poor liaison staff (who do the job for the glory, plus a pair of trainers and a crappy phone) that have to sit cooped up in the vans with the teams. Ick ick.

Failed Resolution

I'm not one for New Years resolutions at it just seems a bit silly and sheep like to me. However at the start of the working year I did have a passing notion to reduce my coffee intake from two a day to only one, all in the interests of keeping the temple that is my body pure and virtuous.

I think I may have had the "resolution" switch in reverse mode when I thought of that plan, as I'm now regularly consuming three a day. I'm blaming it on the overload of testosterone that is currently surrounding me.

Just Because

An oldie but a goodie that someone has sent me again so thought I'd share. This also reinforces a basic tenet of my parenting philosophy which is, " just because" is a valid justification for any Mummy command. Likewise "the answer is maybe, and that is definite" is another good hedging ploy.

Child Abuse # 8

Now that the child has reached the vast age of 16 I have decreed that it is her responsibility to make her own school lunch.

There was a token attempt at emotional blackmail backlash, siting the elder sister, but as the child well knows even though number 1 daughter is at boarding school she still has to make her own lunch.

Lunch making went off with a flying start today and had been made by the time I left the house, it will be intriguing however to see how long this efficiency lasts.

Purrrrr

Just in case any of you can't get to the link in the comment on the post below, here is the image referred to.

Swoon....though at this point I can't resist a wee gloat and say that out here in the real world I have a gorgeous set of shoulders that I get to play with, and get all distracted and hot and bothered over.

Sigh - off to the gym now to work on mine.