Saturday, September 27, 2008

Dear all current and future dinner dates,

Please take note that when the wining and dining section of the evening ends and I innocently suggest popping up to S & M's for a quick nightcap the correct answer is NO.

You know that once I get there I will start drinking hard liquor and then; play with the minds of the straight couples and let them think they're in luck, annoy the gay boys by winning on the pool table without sinking a ball, give my business card to inappropriate people cos they are clients who've been sprung, and take up far too much space on the dance floor when dancing with the boygirl.

The correct response is to remind me that now I am Madonna's age my body no longer processes alcohol at the rate it once did, and instead pour me into a taxi and tell me to go home.

Thank you


Anonymous said...

that's my dream girl

Zed said...

But did you have FUN?
I bet you did.

unPC lesbian said...

I have since recalled also a brief visit into a pole dancing venue, the bouncer kindly let us in because I promised ever so nicely we wouldn't touch. The punters found us far more interesting to look at, I think it was because I had far more breasts on display than the working girls.

I'm hoping that the brief time we were in there that it was just the trainee time slot, as I would be very disappointed if I was a paying customer to watch the girl do her ONE move over and over an over again.

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