Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Child Abuse # 7

Though this really is child abuse from afar, or even child abuse by proxy.

When I returned to work this morning a Concierge boy was jiggling with excitement as he had a parcel for me. As first I thought the sperm donor had finally sent the Pinot Gris that he keeps promising, but no the box was too small. I opened the box to look at the packing slip, thinking it was for a client, then I got very confused as I saw a familiar name on the slip, also a wee note to tell me to stop whinging. I then looked at what was in the box and suddenly did a little dance of joy right there in the lobby.

There is a Santa Claus and she lives in Hong Kong. Cactus has sent me an i-Pod Nano, and to show how much class and taste this woman has, she's sent me a red one to match my phone. And to think she's not even gay!!

After an hour of admiring the lovely little box it is packed in, gosh even the packaging is stylish, I finally realised I would need to charge it up to make it go. That was when I discovered it has been inscribed on the back, which reads, "To the most un-PC of all. Children Keep Hands Off". I roared when I saw that, and have been chuckling on and off all day.

Oh, this is advanced child abuse and even exceeds the hair straightener game. I texted number 1 daughter to tell her, and the immediate response was "not fair" and that I have to give it to her as BOTH her mp3 players are sucky. Number 2 daughter is still at athletics in Canberra with no phone. She will not be happy when she sees it. I fear a whole new level of manipulation tactics form her when she returns.

So far I have managed to download the software and load all the music from this pc on to it. I am currently listening to "Anarchy in the UK" , because it starts with "A" and I haven't figured how to sort and file stuff yet. I must get that all under control before the child returns, as I'm not going to stoop to ask for help.

This is one happy little Lesbian.


Anonymous said...

Cactus sounds like a real class act.
UnPC - wonder if you could give us some advice on gift-giving as we enter the festive season? For example, should we give exes the presents we bought them in anticipation of Christmas when we were still a couple? Is it appropriate to give them to current girlfriends, or is that bad form?

unPC lesbian said...

OK, pre purchased items for the ex, only give it to them in a destroyed state. ie: if you had got them an i-pod, smash, wrap and deliver, otherwise keep it your self. If you can't bear to have the gift around invoking memories then it goes to charity, and there are plenty out there who will appreciate donations. My preferred is womans refuge. However if the gift came from D'Vice, the destroy and deliver rule applies.

Gifts for the new girlfriend. Depends on the level you want the relationship to be at. If it's just casual, fun and sex, then a gift to match, like nice wine you both can enjoy, a D'vice goody you both can enjoy.

If you want the relationship to be more meaningful then gift accordingly, jewellery, tattoos etc etc

If you're just not that interested and want her to bugger off no gift at all is appropriate, and ask for a return voucher if she gives you a gift. Plus you have an extended stay with the family over the entire Xmas/New Year break.

Cactus Kate said...

"should we give exes the presents we bought them in anticipation of Christmas when we were still a couple? Is it appropriate to give them to current girlfriends, or is that bad form?".

Destroy and deliver is a good idea but it's far better for your own peace of mind to simply cash the gift out.

Goodness, that's why stores have exchange and money-back programs darling and we shouldn't buy presents this season without them, even up to 25th December.

Who knows when you are going to have to cut and run? Xmas Eve is hell on relationships.

P.S: Yes I am a class act,but then so is Un-Pc who has organised a few Wellington surprises for me this year through her contacts.

Don't think I do this for just anyone.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the advice Cactus - but hard to cash out if they were bought in another country. Oooh .. could I send them over to you to exchange?

unPC lesbian said...

I've just re read your comment anonymous and I now see you want to give the gifts bought for the ex to the present g/f. Now that really is bad taste.....or are the gifts just so bland and generic that one gift suits all?

Cactus Kate said...


Absolutely, only I would need advice on what to exchange them for.

You aren't a guy by any chance?

Anonymous said...

hypothetical question. but a cashmere huka lodge throw, for example, is pretty generic - although clearly out of season in NZ.

unPC lesbian said...

Give it to Nana

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