Monday, December 1, 2008

The Short Life and Fast Times

.....and no I'm not referring to the biography of John Belushi written by the man who managed to bring the word impeachment into everyday vocabulary, but in fact I'm talking of your average Lesbian relationship.

Recently I have been on the outside looking in at the lightening speed creation, and equally as swift implosion of a lesbian relationship involving some friends, the fall out of the affair on others and the life changing moves made by those involved, and realised that all this has been driven by passion.


[pash-uhn] Show IPA Pronunciation
1. any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
2. strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.
3. strong sexual desire; lust.
4. an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.
5. a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.
6. a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music.

1125–75; ME (< class="ital-inline">passiōn- (s. of passiō) Christ's sufferings on the cross, any of the Biblical accounts of these (> late OE passiōn), special use of LL passiō suffering, submission, deriv. of L passus, ptp. of patī to suffer, submit; see -ion

Those are just a few of the definitions listed. I personally have made life altering changes all in the name of passion for another woman so fully understand the strength and intensity of the emotion, but now find myself wondering "do heterosexual couples feel this strongly?", as no man has made me feel as a woman does. I guess the answer to that is yes, as I know that one of my darling readers will comment that world wars have been started over passion.

I then get sidetracked along the path of why does one person inspire such depth of feeling in oneself, when another who seemingly has the same attributes doesn't? What modern marketing calls X factor, and the French call je ne sais quoi. Something we encounter everyday, one person irritates the fuck out of you, yet another who appears the same is your best friend.

However as usual I'm digressing, as of course with the title of the short life and fast times it seems that passion burns out. Why is this so? My own personal theory in the lesbian world is because of the second date syndrome. As I have mentioned before Lesbians very quickly go from first date to full on intense moving in together, as exhibited by my friends, then to implosion. I now strongly believe that the everyday kills passion, and the easiest way to kill and thoroughly deaden a passionate relationship is to move in together.

My current philosophy on things passionate and sexual is the chocolate box theory, and that is; I'm now going to eat the chocolates very, very slowly, one by one, and make the box last as long as possible, and all the while hoping it's a loaves and fishes box.


Anonymous said...

well if hatred and suffering fall within the embrace of passion then the passion doesn't die - just changes when we realise the girl is not worthy of our grand, big love because they are just people. And sometimes not even very likeable people. So we feel tricked and angry.
But at least there is awesome sex and some imagined closeness for a while.
I think that is probably as good as it gets.

unPC lesbian said...

Oooh anonymous, does one detect a recent bitter break up???

And btw recent research shows that you don't need passion to have great sex.

Anonymous said...

ah! will test your theory and get back to you asap - assume the research is your own?

otter said...

My partner and I didn't move-in together (or spend more than 3 nights a week together) until we had been together 6 years. We have now lived together for 2 years. The honeymoon period is still going on.Trust me, the passion does not have to go away, it does change a bit, but it doesn't have to go away.

The Token Sinner said...

Ooh fuck, that's unreassuring. Am moving in with Goreboy next year. Terrifying stuff.

unPC lesbian said...

Too funny T S, but you're just a baby so still believe and have your whole life ahead of you.

Goreboy will just be the first, and really the moving in thing with your first "grand passion" really is a compulsary life lesson.

All part of your education.

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