The "One"

Over the last few weeks I've been fascinated by the almost daily entries on a friends facebook page. Said friend also happens to be an 'ex', a fairly significant one as she was the woman I left the sperm donor for, but that is irrelevant to this post.

She has recently met a new woman and instantly fallen in love in true lesbian fashion. They are making a very public display of their feelings for each other via their facebook walls and below is a lovely example. I will admit that it is from the very early days of, oh, at least five weeks ago.

I see our relationship as a tiny, tender seedling. Its warm seedcoat has cracked. And, this tender, fragile little being has started to peek out. Fears of every kind cause it to timidly raise it head to peer over the edges. What does it take for this fragile being to raise it's head and grow strong?Gentle nurture. Tender Care. Loving touch. Seeking my gentle touch, it straightens a little more. Now a little stronger. Yet still, oh so tender and fragile.

Quite frankly if anyone ever wrote something like that on my wall I would delete it immediately, and probably delete them as well no matter what I felt for them.

Also in true lesbian fashion they are now engaged! I have a fairly accurate timeline on this relationship as the ex texted once needing advice of a sexual nature, so I know exactly when first shag happened. So first shag to engagement, 3 weeks. First shag to ex quitting her job to move cities, 5 weeks. However I digress.

I made a vomit related comment on one of these facebook posts and then got severely chided for it. Sadly they didn't see that my comment was made about the sickmaking nature of the wall posts, and not their relationship. The response to my vomit comment was that when I met 'The One' I would know, and be as happy as them. This of course has got me pondering the whole concept of "The One",  the idea that out there is one person, one soul who is the perfect match for you. The one to make the two of you a whole, the one you are destined to meet so you can live in perfect harmony forever. Fuk me, their sickmaking dribble is rubbing off on me.

Lesbians love this idea, and lots of hetero's appear to as well, though I do suspect that is probably fairly heavily weighted towards the female of the species. Of course this makes me ask a few questions such as:

• In the case of the ex, how does that make her previous girlfriend of seven years feel and
• If she wasn't "The One", why did she spend seven years with her?
• What happens if you and your "One" are born years or even centuries apart? Are you supposed to stay single as it would be too mean having a relationship with another as they are not the "One".
• What about those who don't believe in the concept, one of whom may be in a relationship with the person who is actually your "One".
• Again, those who don't believe in the concept of the "One" but in are in happy successful relationships, are these relationships not valid then?
• Do we all get a hetero "One" and a gay "One", so we don't miss out if we have difficulty staying with one gender?
• Trans "Ones"? Or does that mean we now all have three "Ones"?
• Or four to cover both versions of gender reassigment?
• Asexuals, do they have a non "One"?
• What happens if you can't afford a plane ticket to travel and go hunting for your "One", or will the single policy apply?
• What about the narrow minded provincials who never leave the town they were born in. Is their "One" going to be in their home town, or are they not allowed "One" because they are too dull and unadventurous?

As you see I could go on and on. In response to my telling off on facebook I pulled out the yin yang card, salty sweet etc etc, pitching that for every person who believed in the "One" is another who is quite happy having more than one lover, and that ultimately the only "One" you can ever get true happiness from is yourself. That shut them up!

Not learning from being berated, I again commented on a post about distance relationships, that they are HOT and not rubbish, but that is a whole other story for another time.