Lesbian Guide to Decision08

As you know in her DomPost column today Cactus has covered the current crop of election candidates from a dating perspective. While researching for today's column on women she asked for my input, which I gave her, but she was only able to use one line from it, as apparently the DomPost isn't quite ready for the full Unpclesbian experience yet. Funny that.

Since I have sod all interest in politics, except as a fashion critiquing exercise, I approached my research as if it was a page on NZ Dating or even The Pink Sofa and recorded my reactions. I also canvassed a few friends and will note their comments as well. The candidate images I used are the ones on the Decision08 website. So party by party here we go.

National.
Hekia Parata: Looks nice and smiley and chirpy. Would have lot of appeal to many, though not I, a bit hearty and soccer Mumsy looking, would probably give a good team cheer after each orgasm.

Melissa Lee: Pretty little Asian woman, totally niche market. Is bound to definitely score in any town other than Auckland.

Greens.
Metira Turei: Hot short hair, could satisfy the androgynous market if she wiped off the lippy. However her image is next to that of Sue Bradford and I KNOW that Ms Bradford does not look as good as that publicity shot, so fear Metira could also be a case of false advertising.

Sue Kedgely: Will have absolute appeal to those wanting to shag a rich bitch, or at least one that looks like one. To quote friend research "There's something Dusty Springfield'esque about her, but apparently she's a thick as two short planks, but that's ok I don't want to talk about country of origin product labelling."

Lizzie Gillet: Has the "outdoors girl" look so will score high. Looks like she'd take her mountain bike to bed with her, and since oddly a lot of lesbians are bike riders, it's probably a good thing.

Linda Persson: The epitome of all that is sad in the lesbian world, this woman's picture should not be published.

Kath Dewar: Stoner girl, one would just hope that she remembers your name in the morning.

Labour.
Maryan Street: My flatmate thinks she is HOT, say no more. I just wish I could get the ick image of Nana sex out of my head. Friend comments are, "I can't really comment as she left my mate (her long term partner) for one of dear leader's aides. She wears sensible yet well made shoes and has a sexy voice. Sometimes that is enough."

Lianne Dalziel: Great shot, looks like she uses the same air brush technician as Dear Leader, one would then assume that she is a clit tease, all words no action. Go there if you want disappointment.

Jills Angus - Burney: Whats with the plural first name, is it to match the double barrel surname? She would definitely appeal to the quirky offbeat arty/ pseudo intellectual chick, but probably has lots of "issues". Double surname reeks of indecision as she probably thinks she's cool keeping her own name after marriage. She would probably do the deed but you would suffer for it for months after. Go there only if you like angst, and lots of it.

Anne Pankhurst: Just a lesbian "older woman" wet dream.

United Future.
Denise Krum: Looks like she'd have some appeal to your average Govt department middle of the road I don't want to stand out from the crowd lesbian. I personally would be unable to stop myself from obsessively staring at the ultra white teeth.

ACT.
Beryl Good: Gosh, can't you just see how tidily she'd put all the dildo's and sex toys away, colour and size coded and all very very clean. Go there only if you like being told what to do....precisely, to the millimetre.

Progressive:
Paula Gillon: Would have lots of appeal to the butches as she's your standard dreamy inoffensive blonde. Personally I like my women to be MEMORABLE, but she'd make a good butch accessory.

Elspeth Sandys: Bless. One could see that she would make good dinner party conversation, if only she could remember where she put the dinner, or if dinner is even on today. One would need to be careful to keep off certain subjects as they could possibly result in razor blade action.

Claire Main: Swoon. Where can I get a full size image of this girl. Though I must qualify that by saying the image on the site makes her look as if she has very short hair and very androgynous. If it's actually a tightly pulled back pony tail then delete immediately. Still a student, so much to young and doing, durrr, yawn yawn, political studies. One would need to be wary also as Mother is running for the same party, close Mother daughter bond could be off putting unless one was trying for the double.

So really, as reported by Cactus, the winner for me was "No Image Available", however there is one woman that I have not commented on, mainly because her image on the site did not provoke any reaction in me. I will report the friend comments, as it is true, this woman is HOT.

Louisa Wall: "She's tall dark and handsome. She used to be a netballer and has lovely hands. (That is polite lesbian speak for "Well Hung") She's a bona fide lesbian, but best of all she finally enticed my mate Ms *** to leave her husband after we had all spent years trying to bed her. She gets conversion points."