Diary of a Woman on a Mission

Thursday 12 June:
4pm, server dropped out again, had enough back to plan A and a run. Check staff and booze, check gmail, start shut down, aim for 4.30 out. 4.28 Front desk ring saying there's a random walk in, race downstairs. Yes conferences blah blah, lots of rooms blah blah, 200 pax blah blah, no can't check dates server down, here's my card, email me. 4.45 Depart, catch a good worm hole in traffic and home in 10 minutes. Change, put beers in fridge, back to car and gym. Enter gym and head for treadmill and start running. Oh look all boys again, no wait, that ones not, it's new androgynous chick. She's doing weights but she's got layers of clothes on. Take ya clothes off woman so we can see your muscles, oooh she's heading over here, did I say that out loud? She's getting on the treadmill next to mine. Oh no now I look like a poser as I've just wound my speed up for a sprint section. No darling, not trying to impress you, just running. Finish run, cool down, weigh myself. Oh my, that's a nice number, quick mental calculation BMI under 24, wrists safe, throw razor blades away. Race to car, supermarket to change light bulbs. Child wants razor, can't find the guaranteed to always shred legs variety so have to buy normal safety ones. Car, drive, damn forgot chocolate. Oh well feeling virtuous with weight loss, don't need chocolate. Home, text text, please bring chocolate on way home, accept short term virtuous syndrome. Check beers, move some to freezer. Start cooking, chop chop, stir stir, scrub. Start child's hair, mix mix, foil, weave, foil, weave, on and on, lowlights done. Mix, mix, foil, weave, foil, weave, highlights done. Mash, grate, assemble, throw dinner in the oven. Rescue beer from freezer, open and run to the sofa just in time to MISS THE OPENING CREDITS AND NOT SEE THE HOT SHOT OF JILLIAN.

Please someone tell me you've recorded it for me.